April, 2005:

No, two years! No, ever!

The Plaza Hotel has closed. So we’ll have to look elsewhere for our forthcoming High Tea excursion in New York.

insouciance n. (in-SOO-suhnce)
1. lighthearted unconcern : NONCHALANCE

As in: Kramer’s insouciance during a poker game about the AIDS walk the next day may have subesequently led to his demise as his continued attitude angered the ribbon bully at the AIDS walk check-in and additionally angered the “armoire bullies” during the walk itself.

I’ve decided to take my husband’s name after all.

I was on my out the door this morning when a distinctive chirp emanated from the upper bowels of my soaring cathedral ceiling. Then another. And another. About a minute apart. I craned my neck and stared up at the insideous device. No it wasn’t a bird, or a plane, or Superman, although in retrospect I could have saved some sanity points and just called the caped super hero direct, but how hard could it be to replace the battery in a smoke alarm, right?

My first challenge was to find a way to get to it. Chirp! It’s attached to the ceiling directly above the last two top stairs that lead up to the loft. I was going to need a ladder. A crooked ladder. Chirp!

Later at work, when I remembered that I had a chirping bird in my ceiling and I was agonizing out loud to my good friend Dave about how the H.E. double hockey sticks am I gonna get up there, he offered to bring over his crooked ladder. He had this fancy thing that can be set up on stairs.

So when I get home and see that the bird has been run out of air, I debate as to whether or not Dave should still come over. He’s tired and I really dont’ feel like dealing with it, but we both know that if he doesn’t come over it will find a second wind about 2am.

30 minutes later, I’m standing precariously under a smoke alarm whose battery has been replaced, but has completely dislodged itself from the ceiling with no hope for reattachment, and is now hanging by one wire with another wire that has lost contact with wherever it belongs with no hope of being reconnected.

Dave is laughing with nothing less than diabolical cynicism.

So there’s one more thing to add to the list for the handyman when I have a moment in my copious amount of spare time to call one.

{SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!}

You know how you learn about someone famous or infamous and you think, “Jeez I hardly ever heard of this guy. And he did all that?” And you mention him to other people and they go, “Oh yeah, the Cuban revolutionary?”

Am I the ONLY person who until recently was totally clueless about Ernesto Che Guevara?

Motorcycle Diaries isn’t exactly about the revolutionary Che. It’s about the freewheeling, freeriding, freeloading Che who wrote about his trip all over South America as a medical student. A charming young man, not a US hating virtual terrorist.

As much as I read and have this desire to know everything, I have these huge gaping holes in my repertoire.

And only one life to live. So many books. So little time.

ignominious - adjective (ig-nuh-MIN-ee-us)
1 : marked with or characterized by disgrace or shame : DISHONORABLE
2 : deserving of shame or infamy : DESPICABLE
3 : HUMILIATING, DEGRADING

As in: Fearing an ignominious day at the office after making out with a co-worker at a party, and desperate to avoid a label of “office skank”, Elaine devised a plan to tell everyone that he was her boyfriend.