Once upon a time (like the 1990s) in a land far far away (Texas) there lived a beautiful little princess named Megan. When she was born, her parents (the King and Queen of the far far away land called Texas) bought her an ugly cookie jar and placed it in her nursery where Megan had to sleep next to this thing every night of her childhood.
That is, until the King broke it. And his daughter’s heart — for the princess had fallen in love with the ugly cookie jar. Did I mention this nursery decoration was a multi-colored fish? The King and Queen even called Princess Megan’s nursery the “fishy room”. Here I’ll show you:
I don’t know about you, but this thing would give me nightmares staring at me while lit by eerie blue moonlight, night after night. (shudder!)
Anyway, the King felt bad about the whole thing.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the world (California), there was a lovely couple who got married and they received many wedding gifts, and one of them was a hideous-looking kitchy cookie jar. Here, I’ll show you:
One day, a few years later, the bride (named Margaret, so yes, we’re obviously talking about me here) and groom had a garage sale and they sold a lot of stuff, but nobody (NOBODY!) would buy the damn cookie jar. So the bride packed the poor lavender-lipped thing back into its box and stuffed it somewhere in the garage.
Several years later, the bride started a blog and she named it Nanny Goats in Panties, and it was hilarious and lauded by millions. One day, she hosted a blogger white elephant gift party where a bunch of bloggers all over the country mailed each other silly gifts.
Margaret got a hideous paper-mache fish that looked freakishly similar to that orange-faced monstrosity in the garage. Here, I’ll show you:
But now, after seeing this ugly white elephant gift, Margaret kind of thought the hideous cookie jar was cute. And she began to fall in love with it.
A couple of years later (we’re up to 2013 now, if you’re counting), back in the far far away land of Texas, the King asked his daughter, Princess Megan, who had all but grown up by now, what she wanted for her high school graduation in June next year and you know what she said? She said the only thing she wanted was the cookie jar she had as a baby. It was her earliest childhood memory.
That HE BROKE.
So the King sent the town crier and Googly knights to search the internets for “fish cookie jar” because by golly, what the Princess wants, the Princess shall have. It was a Royal Decree.
The King crusaded high and low and found two of those surviving doofus wide-eyed fishy cookie jars in the entire land. He tracked down the first owner who said she couldn’t part with it (she was a bit of a collector). Then he contacted the second one, whom he had discovered because the owner had put a picture of it on her blog (called Nanny Goats in Panties, if you recall) while talking about some white elephant gift exchange and blathering on and on about how awesome and award-winning her blog was.
The King emailed this self-absorbed blogger and told her the story of how he had given this same cookie jar to his daughter, the fair Princess Megan, and that he had broken it fifteen years prior, and when asked what she wanted for high school graduation she only wanted one thing and would this blogger be willing to part with it.
* * *
It’s funny … you own an item of questionable admirability and as soon as someone else wants it, you suddenly decide you like it more than you ever did before. Especially when you find out you have what might be a rare and valuable thing.
So would I be willing to part with it?
Are you kidding?
How could I not.
Of course, I sent it to him on one condition…
that he take pictures so I could blog about it…
Turns out, the cookie jar arrived in Texas the day before the fair Princess Megan’s birthday, and the King couldn’t wait until June.
So the King (whom I am dubbing Father of the Year) sent me pics and her Facebook announcement…
Happy Birthday, fair Princess! May you and the ugly cookie jar live happily ever after.
The End.
ADDENDUM: In case you don’t read the comments, here is an extra from the King himself:
One last detail to the story… What is now INSIDE the cookie jar? A single ceramic fragment Princess Megan had saved from the original fish, now safely stored for eternity.
