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fiction

The Bigger the Man, the Bigger Their Ego

[Author’s Note: due to some confusion by some readers, let me clarify that the story below is just a silly made-up piece of fiction. OK, as you were…] My boyfriend can stand still for hours. In fact, he’s so good at it, he does it for a living. Must have been all those years in […]

I May Be Unemployed, But I’ve Got Big Plans

Welcome to my first week of unemployment! After being wait-listed for eleven long months, the repairman finally came by to fix my Wayback and Forward Time Traveler 6000. Some jerk stepped on a butterfly last year and everyone’s time machine went on the fritz. Why is there always one guy who has to blow it for everybody? […]

What Happens When We Take it Outside

When I reach a point where I don’t want to the leave the house because I’m afraid that my neighbor, old man Warner, will shoot me for hammering on the wall all night, or the old lady behind me in line at Kentucky Fried Chicken will stab me in the back for repeatedly backing into […]

Can Goats Get Catty? Yes We Can.

I’m not bitter or anything, but I think the deck is stacked against you if a beauty pageant is hosted in a foreign country. While I was honored to have participated as America’s representative in the Most Beautiful Goat Competition held this past weekend in some middle eastern country, I found their integrity regarding pageant […]

Who Says Size Doesn’t Matter?

Last week, while test marketing my patented re-usable Kleenex™ with the local men of Schnauz Lodge #492, I saw this billboard: Wow! A forty-two foot TV? Who doesn’t want to win one of those? Mr. Nanny Goats and I have decided to enter this contest because if they’re giving away one a day for a […]

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