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Dog Gone It: A Bark For Help

You know the evil stepsisters in Cinderella? The ones with control issues, who are mean, and quite possibly ugly? Did you ever wonder what horrible childhood they must have had in order to be so evil, because their behavior just doesn’t make any sense? Some of you may remember my talking about Wink last July: […]

Friends, Romans, and Commenters, Lend Me Your Ears

I come to bury the myths of Disneyland, not praise them. (and thus ends the Shakespeare references) I have experienced something infinitely more powerful than finding that secret Club 33 thing which pervades the air like a teenage campfire urban legend. I have cut to the front of the line through the use of the […]

‘Dude Walks With Cars’ is neither Aerosmith, nor Native American

Yesterday I had lunch with awesome funny gal, Suzy Soro, author of Hollywood: Where Hot Comes to Die. What does that even mean? Does it refer to all the delusional people who comes to Hollywood for fame and fortune, only to end up on the corner of Loser Street and Crack Boulevard, peddling what’s left […]

My Name is Margaret and I’m a Utensilaholic

Some of you caught my juxtapositional photo the other day when I showed you a container of nasty ass food on my brand new counter in my L.A. condo. That counter was the result of a recent kitchen remodel. Yes, in spite of living in two different cities, I held my breath, gave my keys […]

And Boy, Are My Arms Tired. No, really.

Ever since I began dating this dude who had the audacity to live four hundred miles away from me, I have been traveling back and forth between Sacramento and Los Angeles. That started sometime in 1998. I have been ignoring listening to phrases like “seatbacks”, “tray tables” and “upright position” on a more-or-less weekly basis […]

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