Well thank God THAT’S over.
Christmas sucks. For me, anyway. It’s that dreaded time of year when I am forced to spend “quality” time with loved ones. Blech! Ptui! – I say.
My loved ones (and while I use that term repeatedly, I use it loosely) are a bunch of two-bit half-wits. Take my eighteen-year-old niece. She showed me this so-called “art” she created:
What a loser! I could do that. Anybody could, right? Obviously, she’s doomed to flipping burgers for the rest of her life. I fought the urge to tell her she was a no-talent hack; I figured that would just send her into yet another shrill drama queen scene that she’s so famous for.
Art, my ass.
Oh, and don’t get me started on that whole nasty train wreck of a Christmas gift exchange. A bunch of thoughtless crap that you have to pretend to be overjoyed about as you open it. For example, how about this garbage I got from my husband:
Now what am I supposed to say after opening this pile of dog turds? “Thank you, Honey”? “Oh, just what I always wanted, sweetie”?
Yeah, it was a Charlie Brown Christmas for me. It always is. But, it’s the cross I must bear, if I’m to get into Heaven someday. And so I go on pretending to like these people and feigning gratitude to have them in my lives.
Ah hahaha- the fact that someone didn’t get it makes it even funnier. Thanks for leaving the post….cunt! Hahaha. BTW, I got an iphone to, did costco have a sale or something?
Oh, how you must have suffered.
🙂
lol…I love angry little nobodies…they make my day, cos I figure “good, now I don’t have to get angry at anything, cos this little braindead piece of crap has already taken up the angry quota of THE ENTIRE FREAKIN’ WORLD today and there’s none left for anyone! YAY!!”
Um.. I left you a comment earlier.. but I couldn’t see the pictures on your blog *blush* my work internet blocks them… sorry about that 😛
I got a blue box like that, too, but it was the box I gave the Mrs a few years ago, and inside was a kindle! I felt like Ralphie as he poured in the BBs.
Congrats on a kickass Christmas! If that ain’t incentive to stay Christian, I don’t know what is.
Too bad about the big blue box. Doesn’t he know the best gifts come in SMALL packages? I’m sure you can’t post pictures of your gift to him after that!
I could trade you my plastic package scissors. I AM DEAD SERIOUS. I must have been really bad.
What a great round of comments except for the one loser.
Well, I guess I’m going to repeat what everyone else has said….what a lucky goat! Is the gift inside the Tiffany’s box a sterling silver ear tag??? Hope you had a wonderful holiday!!!
Open the box NOW! My head voice is saying blueboxblueboxbluebox……
HAHAHAHA!
I love angry comments.
I loved your post but ehjay literally had me laughing out loud.
Awesome.
Boy, when it rains, it pours, right?
Poor NannyGoats. Maybe you could just run away to Vegas er somethin’ fer next year. Get away from those inconsiderate, talentless, unthoughtful losers. 🙂
It was a clever trick, wrapping that crappy phone in the Tiffany box. I bet you were fooled!
Yuck I’m sorry you had such a horrible Christmas! Now all I’m thinking is, is what is in that Tiffany box?!
Ha! The cross you must bear. Love it.
Your husband wrapped up a pair of granny panties in that blue box, right? Then pointed and laughed at you when you saw them–oh, wait, that would be something MY husband would do. 🙂
Oh I did..pretty cool..all I have to say is that I’m jealous..
how come I can’t leave a comment ?
I’m glad you enjoyed your dog turd Christmas! 🙂
Feel free to send those turds right over here … I’ll be happy to take them off your hands.
OMG the sarcasm gave me a boner.
OMGsh I was thinking….I hope her niece doesn’t read her blog. LOL But it didn’t take long to “get it”. That other loser must be dim or maybe they just weren’t in the Christmas spirit and wanted to scream F words at someone and you were the lucky one. Who knows but hope to hell they don’t own a gun. yikes!!
And I thought my Christmas sucked. Yours was horrible how do you put up with them? Well here’s hoping next year is much better and not one of those silly German cars or something equally thoughtless.
Oh, I’ve got to know what is in the box! Love those blue boxes.
Give me your number! I want to say that I’ve at least called an iPhone, lucky duck.
Oh sheesh, how can you stand those losers?
Pass the cheap champagne and let’s get on with New Years.
Oh, gross. If I ever open up one of those little blue boxes, I am going to SPEW!
JD at I Do Things
You really should have your own Lifetime Movie with suffering like that!
/facepalm @ehjay
You fucking un-grateful bitch you got a mother fucking I-phone. FUCK YOU! get off your high horse you little whiny cunt. Be fucking humble for getting anything. And what about the painting’s? A kid painted them for you for fucking free! It’s all about the spirit of giving not bitching about what you got. Fuck this post and FUCK you!
[author’s note: I’m tempted to delete this. Not because of the content, but because this idiot who couldn’t trouble himself to see the comment before his to save himself from looking like a doofus, did not leave a valid email address or URL, which is kind of chicken shit, if you ask me. So who’s the whiny little C%$T now?]
I am still trying to figure out the Photo Shop wizardry you did to turn that negligee from Fredrick’s of Hollywood into an iPhone and a 14 carat gold diamond encrusted dog turd. Talk about the Midas Touch.
BTW, I’ve called the boys from 911 to bring the “jaws of life” over to your house and liberate your tongue from your cheek.
Well, it looks like you have some brand name objects from your husband. Which seem to be popular with some of your readers. I knew that was a cel phone on the left, I think, but I wouldn’t have argued if you’d said it was a Blackberry……
Your niece has good chops. But she may want to move away from brand images, as she doesn’t need them. Her work is strong enough. But I’m just a painter speaking my unbranded opinion.
Tiffany’s!! I’m so jealous.
hehehehe VERY good post! As for the Old Injun’s family, suffice it to say that I ensure most of my relatives are given free travel and lodgings over the holidays whenever I can afford it. By simply SENDING them someplace I’m NOT usually ensures a pleasant holiday season here at Chez Injun. Cousins Nit & Dim & my Sis Half (all members of the famous ‘Wit’ clan)being far away is like living in Nirvana:)
Oh yeah sounds like you had a crap Christmas… Lol… you crack me up…
You’re right…you are too good for that dog turd crap fest….so express those gifts over to me and I’ll “dispose” of them for you!
Hmm… a Tiffany’s box? Is that the best he could do?
You pooooor thing!
You should visit me for Christmas – I got to buy my own present this year because my husband has become a slave to his job *sigh*. The really sad part is that I’m convinced he really is the better present buyer!
Did you download Super Monkey Ball yet?
(squeak) (squeak) (squeeek-ee)
Poor you! Being forced to pretend to like presents other people would kill for!
It’s a tough job – but hey! – someone’s got to do it!
Oh, you poor woman. How terrible.
Oh…the humanity!
When will life ever get better for Nanny? What can I do to take your pain away and make the hurt stop? heehee.
At first I thought you were serious, & I was like “Whoa! That’s talent…what is she talking about?” But thennnn I figured you out! 🙂
Happy New Year!
I see right through you. I’m just sayin’.
I feel for you. Tell you what, I’ll accept both as white elephants and send over my “whistle for your keys” key chain.
Had to take the batteries out, it apparently has a broad interpretation of “whistle”
lemme know.
per the usual i’m cracking the hell up!
little blue boxes bring my heart such joy.
p.s. your neice has some SKILLS.
xo
I’ll trade ya the blue box for the Old Spice gift set someone left on their way out of here.
I’m with Blissful Babe…just send that crap on over here, I’ll get rid of it for you! You shouldn’t even have to look at that stuff for one more second…the nerve of him! I hope that you are making him fix his own turkey sandwiches for the next week! What ever happened to the good ole gifts like…like…Stetson For Women…or…a new set of hair rollers (the wire granny kind)!?
OMG! You poor thing! How can you go on living??
I’ve never even seen a mother fluffing Tiffany box. Pffft. Never even seen a Tiffany STORE.
What in the world was he thinking???
I’m so sorry you had to endure such a crappy day.
You know, if you want to re-gift either one of those, I may know someone who would be willing to endure it.
I’m just sayin’.
Yeah, merry freakin’ Christmas Panties. Now you know why I moved to India?!!!
Come on … at least she is painting and drawing, doing something CREATIVE. No matter if you call it art or not. And if you see my kids scribble scrabble you will think it is ART. lol
i swear if i get one more blue box… oh wait, i haven’t gotten any blue boxes…. never mind.
Oh I know. Tell me about it. My family is a bunch of turd-brained uni-browed troglodytes too. And don’t even yet me started on my husband. An ipod? Why don’t you just fart in a box and wrap it. They even made me gag down sucky food.
Harumph. Tiffany’s. iPhone. As if THAT is supposed to make one elated. tsk, tsk, tsk.
Oh the pain and anguish of being surrounded by those we love. And the nerve of her passing off some artists hard work as her own.
Oh tis a tangled web we weave when first we practice to whine and cry like a big baby. Now open that box.
UNbelievable! Men, I tell ya, they think they can toss a little blue box at you and get lucky. pfft! Doesn’t he know the way to your heart is more nanny panties?
OPEN THE BOX!
I hope you threw that stupid phone at his head…bastard.
Bravo, Floridian – you’ve got the MudPup all figured out! I know what was in the little blue box, but I’m not telling. Hey! I had no idea that Freak could paint like that – very cool!
You little whiny thing you. I take it that the “pile of dog turds” was inside the Tiffany & Company box. That’s always been my trick: Buy something really cheap and crappy but put it in an expensive box.
We had a little bit of turmoil this Christmas but everyone pulled together and it mostly worked out. So Christmas was a good one. In spite of your post, I hope you really enjoyed your day.
I’ll be happy to take the unwanted gifts off you, but you can keep the “art”.
YEP,I’LL TRADE YA TOO.AND——-THE GAL,AS YOU KNOW,HAS TALENT….ANN
even a little blue box can melt a Grinches heart –
whattya get?????
What’s in the box??????
Merry Crapmas. I hope you kept the gift receipts for those “presents.”
Naturally, I expect you’ll be applying steady pressure on your husband with the vaginal wrench until he buys you something decent.
He brought it on himself.
~ A.
He gave you something in a blue box? That is pretty lame. No wonder you don’t want to show what’s in it.
I feel your pain.
that bastard.
You poor dear…. just bring that little blue box over to the White Elephant Gift exchange…. or I could trade you for a Harry Potter Lunchbox… hehehehe
Seriously, I don’t know how you can take it! You’re made of sterner stuff than I!!!!
You are hilarious!
What’s in the box???!!!!
Well, I hardly know what to say. Tiffany’s? iPhone? BAH-humbug. LOL. But if you’d like, I’d totally trade you my christmas socks for the blue box. 😉
You had me for a minute because her Joker and Batman were FABULOUS. I’m a Cartier girl myself but wouldn’t turn down the blue box!
Ah, c’mon man. You couldn’t at least link to mah Deviantart?
*DRAMA RAGE*
-Freak!
[author’s note: if you haven’t figured it out, this is my niece.]
HAH! I predicted the blue box! Give it up for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
It’s a tough life all over.
Place my relatives and me in a small room together, shake, and BOOM. It’s inevitably a combustible situation.
Merry Christmas to all and let’s put a wrap on this one for another year.