So there’s this Slow Blogging Movement kinda like the Slow Food Movement only with blogs and people who slow blog who blog slower than fast bloggers whatever that means although I think it refers to people who take their time with their posts not worrying about the frequency with which they throw something out into the blogosphere unlike some blogs that put up as much stuff as they can even stuff that isn’t theirs just to keep feeding the beast that is the “audience” only now the fast bloggers think that blogging isn’t fast enough and have moved to other venues like Twitter where they can crank out little mini 140-character posts because the impatient cow readers can’t stop long enough to read a long blog post anymore but whatever.
Of course, that’s not why I called you here today. Today I want to tell you about a book I read called Is It Me or is Everything Shit? The subject matter of this book has not one annoyed author, not fourteen annoyed authors, but three insanely annoyed authors: Steve Lowe, Alan McArthur and Brendan Hay. The subtitle of this book? Insanely Annoying Modern Things.
This is a book of rants. My God, I thought I ranted, but these guys really bitch and moan. A lot. It made me wonder if you guys get sick of my complaining all the time because I could only take this book in small doses before getting annoyed by all their annoyances. You probably can’t tell by the title, but have I mentioned the foul language?
They wax cynical about everything from politicians to China to tech-gagdetry to Kabbalah to things by which even you and I are annoyed. They hate “lists”, which is funny, because their book is one big long alphabetical one. And I don’t like lists either, especially in book form. It’s a built-in bookmark, where all you can think about is how much you have left to read, rather than becoming really engaged by the text. The only book that pulled that off for me was A.J. Jacobs’ The Know-It-All because there was a bit of self-deprecating humorous narrative throughout that moved the story along and allowed us to like the author. These other guys come across as a pile of snarky superiority complexes.
Okay, so maybe they don’t mean for you to sit down and read this all in one fell swoop. I would keep this one in the bathroom, where it seems to belong. These blog-post-length blurbs might be perfect for that 2-15 minutes of “privacy time”. That’s right, potty-mouth humor for the potty, because this book swears like a sailor.
Is It Me… contains hundreds of short bursts of vitriol and anger and profanity, a minefield littered with F bombs. I would assume this book is more appropriate for the man on the can, meant to be read by the male persuasion during his own bursts of what-have-you. (And if you female types didn’t appreciate that last bit of humor, then this is exactly what I mean).
And by bathroom humor, I don’t mean to say that this is a book full of fart jokes, and redneck humor, far from it, in fact. I’m only suggesting the bathroom because of logistics. You could also read this book, say, while in line at the ATM, but not at the DMV, because now you’re talking about too long of a stretch of time there. It just depends at which acronym you are standing in line.
This version of Is It Me… has been adapted for American readers – it’s original version being published for the UK. Apparently we Yanks wouldn’t appreciate the previous manifestos slamming The Tube or Graham Norton or the hundreds of TV versions of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens novels, or Fish and Chips, or whatever it is those Brits have over there on the other side of the Pond.
While this reader found the book funny at times, it falls short of hysterical. Some of the longer, less profane, entries feel genuinely angry, while others feel like the anger is forced: diatribe for the sake of diatribe. Did you ever see that Dick Van Dyke episode where Buddy, played by Morey Amsterdam, is such a versatile comedian, they throw subjects at him so he can make up a joke about it on the spot? It’s kind of like that. With a curse word thrown in to “make it funny”.
So if you’re looking for a gift for the guy who has everything, who can handle more F-bombs than a season of The Sopranos, who reads above the 9th grade level (the vocabulary and writing style is oddly literate – that must be an “English” thing), and enjoys reading humor in small doses, consider this for Christmas. If you held a gun to my head demanding stars, I’d give it three out of five. It might have gotten four if they had not exposed a lack of confidence in their own humor with all the F**Ks and SH*Ts. I’m no prude but profanity, like exclamation marks, are much more effective when used sparingly.
* * *
For those of you begging for a photo of my Cute Butt award that I mentioned in my previous post, here ya go!
And I stand corrected. It is not a Cute Butt award. It is a Cutest Tush award. I hope you will find it in your butt – oops, I mean – heart to forgive me.
And speaking of awards, here are a few more bestowed upon me in the past few bloggy days:
I would like to thank Blicky Kitty for this rather large honor: The Blogs Worth Stalking Award. Thank you, Blicky Kitty. A hilarious award from a fellow Hilarian. 
I would also like to thank Shan over at Last Shreds of Sanity for this Encouraged award. Thank you, Shan, for this encouraging honor!
I would also like to thank Jennifer Susan over at Amongst Other Things for this award. 
[…] Slow blogging. I have to give credit to seeing this over at Nanny Goats in Panties first, but it still caught MY eye (just one eye, mind you, as my other eye was looking at her cute […]
If you liked The Know-It-All, you’ll probably enjoy John “And I’m a PC” Hodgman’s book, The Areas of My Expertise. I think he’s got a new one out too called “More Information Than You Require.” Funny dude. Now if only I had thought to write those books first…
Thank you so much for letting us know about this book. I believe in positive thinking, however I’m cynical as all get out and dark-humor seems to fit with me lately.
I’ve got to check this book out!
(I’m having a Virtual Girls Night Out, if you feel like stopping by.)
Good lord, woman. I felt like I was standing in line to ride at the fair. You really need to have snacks when were working our way to the end of the comment line. I am so glad you reviewed this book. It is a definite NO. I cuss like a sailor but I think I picked it up from working with men for so many years. I am who I am though. Congrats on the awards.
Yeah, I think I’d rather read a book about your cute butt.
You deserve them all and more. Congratulations!
I used to have a Murphy’s Law poster and one of the Laws was “90% of everything is crud”. That poster came out before the Internet was around, though, so now it’s probably more like 98%. This probably is related to another Law, my very favorite, which is “There’s never time to do it right, but there’s always time to do it over.”
First, thanks for the NYT link. I found that article very interesting and otherwise would not have found it. I wish I had time to “slow blog,” but I don’t just spout crap to check off my “yep, I blogged today” checklist, either. I have hundreds of stories in my head and try to reserve an hour to write a couple to three of them each week.
Re: the book, I totally won that from Angry Seafood! It should come in the mail any day now. I think it’ll work great in my bathroom, as you suggest above.
Great blog. If I was clever, I’d make-up an award and present it to you. For now, my admiration and a promise to visit again will have to suffice.
IB
I’m still giggling. Great book review. You have a way with words. Always enjoy reading what you have to say. Ranting is okay, but all the vulgarity, can do without it. Love the awards. 🙂
Oh, my. I must stop speed reading. At first I thought you said, “Slow Bowel Movement.”
kudos on the awesome paragraph long first sentence of this post! loves it.
Hey girlfriend. I came across this and immediately thought of you:
http://holy-cuteness.blogspot.com/2008/12/dancing-pygmy-goats.html
I didn’t know I was a slow blogger. I just thought I was lazy, or (as it happens) just burned from being in front of the computer at work too much of late. I’ve been known to take a year to post something and then peel off several a week.
The thing about slow food is that if you are hungry, they still have the food for you to eat. If you are ready to read someone’s blog and there is nothing new for a few visits you fade away.
Maybe we can get a few goat cushy shots on the blog now? Wearing underpants? That would be a cool photo shoot! Naaahha.
You can change the world. One “Nahhhh! Post” at a time.
I had to laugh when you abruptly changed the direction of your blog post to a book review.
I love your sense of humor. But in light of this post’s review of a book with foul language run amok, can we not just say your award is for a cute a$$, not butt?!
All in favor?
That award is maybe even more awesome than I imagined. 🙂
Last paragraph totally described my hubby!
You don’t just do comedy great…but I’d say that was a heck of a well written book review…and I think I’ll pass. I sure hope I’m not a fast blogger…but I’m thinking I might be…uh oh. And thank you ever so much for indulging our desire to see your tush award. I got a good chuckle out of it. They did a nice job with the butt! That is way better than winning an Oscar!
Hey, Tushy…
Anna the Slow Blogger here (wow, that comes across really differently in writing than I expected) to say that I’m with you, sister!
I’ve always believed that overuse of vulgarity is a sure sign of comedy insecurity. I’m no prude, either, but enough’s enough! If you can’t make me laugh and get by the Standards and Practices people, then you ain’t that funny!
:^) Anna
I would comment but there are more than 16 here….
Thanks for the review. I love a good rant every now and then but a whole book of them might just prove to be too much for this Pollyanna.
I’ve a little something over at my site for you. Congrats!
I’m so new to blogging I can’t figure out what I am…but…today, I feel crazy, overhwelmed, underwhelmed and generally, have squished eyebrown syndrome. Hummmmm
I am amazed at the amount of content some bloggers are able to write and publish. Perhaps if I didn’t have a day job, a night job and the occasional need to shower, I could do more – but….more isn’t always better.
Love the ass crack. How’s about some cleavage next blog?
I LOVED your Tush award! LOL How cute is that? Thanks for stopping by and saying hi. My blog is very new, so I haven’t added my twisted humor section yet.
I adore your site, and love the spin you put on things. With a lot of the ladies that I come into contact with (with hair loss) nothing brightens their mood like a good sick joke, or funky story.
I’ll be adding you to my blog roll because I really thing the girls are gonna love you! I do already.
Have a great day!
I guess I was actually ahead of the curve on this one. I’ve been blogging slow for years… The thing is I’ve always called it being lazy.
Seriously though… I always blog slow, because my readers can’t read very fast!
Ba Dum Tishhhhhhh…
Thank you. Good night!
Austen, not Austin
Do you feel better now? I think I appreciate the slow bloggers more than the fast bloggers. The slow bloggers just have more entertaining posts. As far as the book. hmm…interesting review. 🙂
I loved George Carlin’s humor because it made sense in the context of his statements about social issues. I don’t write a blog, and I don’t read many (really, just this one and the Mud Pup’s) because most are a royal waste of my time. There are so few hours in the day that I feel my time is best spent in search of greatness – whether it be ideas, literature, music, heroic acts. I wish more people would write about what they really believe about life, love, art, social issues, and politics. So much more interesting than shallow angry rants.
WHOA! 3 out of 5.
You’d hate to have an actual conversation with me then, no sparingly involved… if i can’t sprinkle, spray, or shower you in f-bombs… there’s no reason for us to be talking.
haha…
nice review.. i’ll think about getting a copy to next to my shitter, you know… where I like to read the oxford dictionary.
I think this book isn’t meant to be taken too seriously. I think it’s typical British humour! We have programmes about grumpy old men and grumpy old women and all they do is bitch and moan. Mind you everything they say is true!
There’s nothing we like better than moaning, didn’t you realise it’s our national pastime. Aussies don’t call us wingeing Poms for nothing!
We’ve cultivated it to a fine art! In fact if it was an Olympic event we’d get Gold, Silver and Bronze in every category.
The bad language thing is a pain. For some reason comedians think the more F words they use the funnier their acts get. Problem is if anyone complains they’re treated like they’re a throwback in time and a religious killjoy. Young people’s language nowadays is horrendous everywhere you go. You see there I go complaining.
However the BBC has had to get to grips with the number of complaints it got recently which I won’t bore you with and hopefully things will improve.
It sure is a cute butt award! LOL
that award cracks me up… it’s not the “wise ass” award, though? 😉
That was a GREAT post. Every time I see your header I laugh! I love that damn shot.
Congrats on the awards. (How’d you get my tush on your door??)
nice ass.
Hi Panties 🙂
I’m a regular blogger. Slow, fast, whatever: I started end of October and hit the NoGoBloMe or whatever it was, and now I’m thinking I might back off, but I have so damned much to say, who knows…
Congrats on all the awards. And on finding a book that I should add to my recent post I called the “Un-Gift Book Guide”, a list of books no one should even think once about buying as presents this holiday season.
Here’s to good humor on both sides of the Pond!
Aoi
We seem to be on the same page a lot? are you my long lost sister from another mother? Or did we go to different schools together?
Congrats on all your awards. You’re lucky it wasn’t the “Cute Nuts” award–because that’s what it kind of looks like! 🙂
Nanny,
Thanks for telling me about the “fast” or “slow” blog thing. I didn’t know that it was defined in such a way. I can now claim space in the “slow” catagory. You made me feel better.
Eve
The book sounds like it would remind me of George Carlin. I loved his earlier stuff, but when I read “Napalm and Silly Putty” I was dismayed by the anger and negativity. Not that there aren’t things that deserve anger, but whew! It was a lot to take at once.
I have started the lazy boring blogging movement…
p.s. I adore the lopsided tush on your trophy. Looks a bit like mine.
I came for the Cute Butt (sorry, Cutest Tush) Award and stayed to read about Is It Just Me . . . Sounds like my kind of book.
Congrats on all your cool awards!
JD at I Do Things
I have a copy of that book heading my way… great read or someone’s Christmas present? Hmmm.
I’m glad to hear they have taken out all references to Graham Norton. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to know about Graham Norton.
My family is full of Brits – complaining seems to be their favorite hobby. Must be all the dreary weather.
Thanks for the heads up – I think I’ll pass.
Cute buns hon’.
Agreed, the tushy is so cute LOL displayed with pride…I see LOL
Thanks for the heads up on the Rant and Rave book…I could give that to a few peeps I know…!
As far as the fast/slow bloggers….
Is there a medium setting? LOL LOL
I believe I am somewhere in the low end of middle LOL !
Love your writing style, loved the book review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m an excessive exclamation-er. 🙁
Dang. From the sound of the book title, I thought it was going to be like finding treasure! It sure would fit into my lifestyle right now! I won’t waste the time now. (I probably wouldn’t have anyway just to be honest!). Who needs a gaggle of whiny butt men, complaining! I like the tush award!
Slow blogging seems like a very good idea for people who are not me and who enjoy “crafting” things. I am more a quick and dirty type.
You know, I love a good rant as much as anyone, but it does need to be in small doses, well spaced out, and with other, less ranty, more happy stuff in between.
Thanks for telling me about this book I will never, ever read.
I don’t mind profanity, my vocabulary is laced with it, but I get enough of grouchy old men rants and raves via my father.
Nice tushy though! And congrats on your numerous awards. What exactly is the last one for?
Wow – thanks for sticking in there so that I wouldn’t have to!
That books sounds like a complete waste of time. As though it’s not difficult enough to stay cheerful sometimes, there has to be a book out there to point out every flaw in everything? Yikes.
Loved the suggestion to keep the potty-mouth book in the potty room 😉
Oooh, that award is awesome! I never have, and never will win any award in which the word “cute” in any derivation is used with any word referring to my rear end. Green with envy, here!
I don’t know if I’m a fast blogger or a slow blogger – I just blog when the spirit moves me or when my brain is so full I need to empty it out somewhere so I can think again. Hmmmmm.
Anyhow, happy Monday and cheers!