If I were a superhero, my super power would be the ability to travel in time. And my superhero name would be T-Mach (pronounced “Tee-Mock”. It’s a derivative of Time Machine, get it?).
Then, every time I screwed up or wanted to “undo”, I could just go back in time and “fix” it.
So, like that time when a bronze elephant statue fell out of the sky and smashed our local wealthy chip clip magnate into a greasy spot on the downtown sidewalk, I would simply travel back to about ten minutes before the greasy spot formed. I’d keep an eye on the sky and when I saw a speck of a trunked shiny metal mass growing bigger and bigger, I’d find the target and pull him out of the way, saving his life and becoming a big hero. I’d be so famous and every time a camera bulb flashed or a microphone was shoved into my face, I’d smile, hold up a little nanny goats in panties (oh, I’d have also gone back in time and bought a real live baby goat and put little panties on it and taken it downtown so that it would be at arm’s length should the opportunity arise) and promote my little blog. Next thing you know, NGIP would be The Little Blog That Could.
Or, I would buy a newspaper and check the Lotto numbers and then I would go back two days in time and buy a ticket with the winning numbers. I would do this every time I needed some cash because, you know, 4.3 million dollars before taxes just doesn’t go far these days. Also? You can never have enough money. No matter how rich or how poor you are, you always want more. It’s human nature. We are greedy bastards. And if we have the misfortune to win the lottery, and get accosted by every distant cousin and charity case, and get guilted into giving them all of our money, then it’s back to Joe’s Bait Shop and Pancake House for another Lotto ticket.
I would also re-live every unfortunate conversation I’ve ever had where I wished I’d said something else. In fact, if there was just a global FIND and REPLACE feature to this time travel thing, I would do a search on every occurance of “Oh, yeah?” and replace it with “Oh yeah, Fartface?”
With great power comes great responsibility, and as you can see, I would only use my power for good things. Good things for me, anyway. Like getting lots o’ wads o’ dough.
Now I just need a trusty sidekick.
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This post is part of the Writer’s Workshop hosted by Mama’s Losin’ It, which in turn is part of Moxie Media’s Around the Blogosphere in 5 Days campaign. The campaign is intended to introduce the new media powerhouse called Moxie Media, of which I am a member.
Thanks to Lisa at Pink Porches for totally blogging about her new NGIP pens. And just look at her banner:
How cute is that?
Also? A big THANK YOU to A Tired Wife for throwing NGIP a shout out about her new pens too!
I always say my superhero powers are ordering Starbucks at super speed and tanning (unintentional and thru mega SPF, not thru tanning beds). Need a sidekick with those powers?
Sidekick here!
I would love to go back in time…maybe not permanently, but more so just to see people the way I remember them again. How nice. 🙂
I’d be your sidekick… I’d be more than happy to carry your baby goat in panties. I’d even carry extra panties in different colors so they match your outfit… Then the papparatzi photos would be wonderful!
The comments are just as funny as the post! No wonder there are so many talented bloggers ‘out there’.
I would like to be your sidekick. Being from the South, I could be “Barefoot Girl”. I could wear overalls, chew on a blade of grass, drive a tractor, and t.a.l.k r.e.a.l s.l.o.w. Oh, wait, I do that already, so, I’m ready. [tee hee]
man remember that saying, i’m having what she’s having.
i would do that at tax time too. lol
btw, Bess says hi.
back home now all is well
Maybe the baby goat w/ panties would be your sidekick?
Joe’s Baitshop & Pancake House… I think we have one of those here. It’s a chain, right? 😉
I had a great time at your site, I have to agree with your power, its a great one. love your site, I was having a great time, I laughed so hard during my visit.
(visiting from SITS)
I see that the sits ladies are serious! wow what a wonderful group of ladies! Thanks so much for the visit today….I have enjoyed reading this post today…I wish I had those powers too…what a wonderful thought!
that would be a great super power. I would like to be able to be invisible. I’m already used to feeling that way sometimes so I would be able to adapt easily. I’d like to spy on my teenagers more, because they always know when I’m around anywhere 🙂
I think that would be awesome to be able to go back in time. I would still be single and childless. Sigh
I’ll be your side kick with my knuckle-cracking ruler…unless that’s not what you had in mind…
Thanks for the pens…they are totally awesome. you made my mail worth getting:)
MS PANTIES!!!!! Go to Michel’s blog, it’s about a cycle ridin’ GOAT. OMG, it needs your help….
factsoptional.blogspot.com
I think 🙂
I’m definitely feeling the time travel thing, can you slow time down too? or speed it up? that could come in very handy in a variety of situations that I simply won’t get into.
No comment on the wanting more money thing….
Now that would be a useful power. I’ll be your sidekick if I can go back in time to call people fartface too. Just kidding – I think I’d have to have a different catchphrase. Sidekicks always have to have a signature catchphrase.
Awesome!I would be your sidekick!! Your post was so funny! Made my day!
My pens came yesterday! Thank you so much!
Oooh, I have just gotten the funniest idea….
Be on the lookout for an email in the near future.
Or my death notice. One or the other. It all depends on how things work out.
heh heh
SO CUTE! I would LOVE a time machine -just imagine all the things in the world we could fix including our lives and the lotto! HA! Great ideas! :o)
I would love to have a winning lotto ticket. I think I won 5 bucks once. I think T-Mach needs to do that for everyone in the US. Take care.
Ya want to borrow Tiger the Wonder Dog for a sidekick??? He doesn’t have any panties but his cape it somewhere.
Ladies and their pens, ya just can’t keep ’em down. Ya’ll have a great day!!!
Can you go back in time to my high school algebra class and advise me to NOT crack my back against the desk chair during the test?
Biggest. Fart. Ever.
I would totally be your sidekick!
I picked some superpowers that would be quite complementary to yours, so I think we’re in business!
Alright, I’m dense. How do I get me a nanny goat pen????
Seriously, we wrote the same freaking post! I need that power!!
I’ll be your sidekick “Procrastination Girl”. My sole purpose would be to be lazy and make you look good. It would be a tough gig for me, as it would entail watching lots of TV, eating Doritos and not doing my laundry, but I would do it for the love of NGIP.
I meant to say “Mona looks,” although Mona’s look is pretty awesome.
I’d offer my services as a sidekick, but I’m guessing Mona’s already filling that spot. I was a little upset at first, but then I figure Mona’s looks much better in her superhero outfit. (What sort of superhero outfit will T-Mach’s wear?)
Holy goats, T-Mach woman, I’d volunteer because I’d provide you with plenty of unfortunate conversations that you had to go back and finish.
*muses*
I am afraid of heights. Is that going to be an issue because if there’s capes and flying and stuff, like as not I’ll start getting all wild eyed and breathing funny, and all the pictures of you would have me in them, looking slightly deranged and unhinged.
This would not be good for your rep, I suppose.
Okay.
You’re not picking me, are you?
I have only one thing to say. ‘Oh yeah, fartface?’