As each year passes with the speed approaching that of a Twilight vampire, I get crankier and crankier. My patience for most things wane, forcing me to declare at the embarrassment of whoever accompanies me in public, “I don’t have time for this. Life’s too short! Is there anyone else around here who can change my diaper?”
And since the New Year is the clichéd time for everyone to make resolutions for self-improvement, please humor me with my out-loud, doomed-to-fail and pointless promise to myself.
I only have one, since last year’s more-or-less single doomed-to-fail resolution never came to pass. Perhaps I should just shoot for a half of a resolution, a “demi-resolution”, if you will.
I’ve come to realize that joy is a rare thing and therefore a coveted thing that should be pursued at all costs, even if it leads to murder. We spend a lot of wasted effort and time on things that, in the end, don’t matter. To this day, no one has been heard on their death bed to have said, “I wish I had spent more time on Facebook”, or “I wish so-and-so would have annoyed me more often”, or “What’s that metallic gray stuff you’re putting in my IV bag?”
This might seem trite to younger folks, but I love hanging out with people who I can genuinely connect with, beyond that superficial small talk. I feel good after a substantive (and mutual) conversation. One-way conversations suck the life out of me and I am too old to be wasting my time like that.
So, my New Year’s Resolution for 2011 is to spend more time with my real friends, the people who actually mean something to me. So if I don’t call you this year, don’t take it personally or anything, it’s probably just that I don’t like you.
However, if the success of this year’s resolution is anything like the success of last year’s resolution, I will probably spend less time with those about whom I care and continue to hang out with people who are a complete drain on my soul. And if that’s true, then if I do call you this year, don’t take that personally either, because I might not like you, or it’s because I really am sticking to my New Year’s resolution and you really do mean something to me. I imagine it might be difficult for you to figure out if I like you or not, so I wouldn’t put too much energy into such complex problem solving.
Okay?
Maybe I should just go with half friendship fulfillment, or “demi-friending”, if you will. Then I won’t exceed either one of our expectations and we’ll all be less miserable. Yeah, that’s what I really want this year, to be less miserable.
So to sum up, I resolve to be less miserable by attempting to half-assedly spend more or less time with the people in my life who may or may not squeeze out my entire desire for living.
And what about you?
“it’s probably just that I don’t like you.” ROFL
I only had 2 goals this year: weigh less than Bob and make more money than Bob.
Awesome goals. Will making more money than Bob mean that you will be stinking rich?
I have decided to declare 2011 the Year of the Big Girl Panties. Time to take more control of my life, and be more selfish…all the while resolving to spend more time with my family and friends, making everyone happy, and learning to make cake.
Oh yes, I resolved a long time ago to stop spending time with people who sucked the life out of me but was promptly reminded that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family *ahem* But I’m with you- less computer more life. And haff-assedly is now my new favorite word.
Hope it’s a great 2011, Margaret. xo jj
Thank you, Joanna. And may your 2011 rock beyond your wildest dreams!
Oh Margaret, drink more wine, eat more chocolate, spend more money, have more fun. It all ends next year anyway.
Ha! Good point. New Year’s Resolutions should be a time for joy, not self-sacrifice. What the hell was I thinking?
I’m glad you’ve seen the light, Margaret!
Yeah, what she said!!
Thanks, Lorie! MWAH!
I think I’ll just follow your blog and let your humor uplift me for the year!
Aw thanks, Momaloft! I hope it does.
Ha! Sounds like a plan! Me…I will just shun most people and have myself a good ole time.
Hugs
SueAnn
Ohhhh, I like the idea of shunning. I’ve never shunned anyone before.
The only resolution I’ve ever made and stuck with was the one I made on December 31, 1991. I resolved to quit smoking. And I did. I quit Jan 1, 1992 and I never picked up another cigarette again!
That’s awesome, Joanie! Congratulations on (19 years? I can’t do the math) of sobriety, or whatever they call it for not smoking. Good for you! That’s amazing and wonderfully healthy.
Facebook is so fun! Talking to random strangers is enjoyable to me. I have “real” friends and they always jump in on the conversations. In fact, it was Jen liking this post on FB that brought me here. Love it. I promise to do the same…or not to…for as long as I feel like it…or less:)
I agree, Talking to random strangers can be a kick in the pants….until they want you to do something that equates to you giving the key to your apartment to them so they can “pop-in” whenever.
I often wonder why we continue to keep in touch with people who drain us. I have a friend like this. She’s been good to me and bad for me, I love her but I can’t even talk to her on the phone without ending up wiped out…
We need to figure out a system to pair those people up with each other, give them a dose of their own medicine so that the rest of us can breathe more easily.
Ummmm….not sure what to make of this since you just sent me an email saying how you planned to get be in touch more this year.
Happy New Year to you too!
Yes, as soon as I’ve decoded what the hell I’ve just said, I’ll let you know.
I think that’s a most excellent New Years Resolution.
I should probably also consider NOT hanging out with those that are a drain on my soul!
Oh no. We can’t have everybody doing it, then all the lonely people will wander the earth, alone, abandoned, …. and find ME - GAHHH!!!!
Honey,I don’t put myself through all the drama of a resolution…I just take it a day at a time baby!!!
Have a great day!!!
That’s smart thinkin’, Nezzy!
Happy New Year Margaret…*does that annoying hand-shaped-like-phone-by-ear twitch thing* call me! Um, wait, no, don’t call me. Wait. You said real life friends, right? I’m real, you’re real…I mean, I think you’re real…and we’re friends. Aren’t we? I think we are, that is, if you’re real, then we are definitely friends. So, don’t call me, and I resolve never to do that annoying hand twitch thing again, and let’s keep being friends.
Awesome.
Let this be the first time this year that I tell you I love you!
Just so long as it’s not the last time you tell me
Just so long as it’s not the last time you tell me
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Margaret Andrews, Jane Gassner and Alexandra Williams. Alexandra Williams said: RT @nannygoats: y sum ppl wnt B seeing much of me ths year: "A Misanthrope's New Year's Resolution" http://ow.ly/3xFCO <<It's a demi-post! […]
Nicely said, and I get your point.. I on the other hand refused to make a New Year’s resolution, every year I do ends up horrible.. I simply made a “I’m gonna” solution of getting to know me and going for what I want this year..
Good Luck to ya, go enjoy those conversations…it’s one thing I do miss about being nearly 3,000 miles away from people I used to see..
I’m hoping this will be my last resolution because if there’s one thing in life that sucks, it’s goals.
Two questions: what is this thing called “real”? And what is the other thing called “friends”? Hmmmm. I don’t get it (shrugging).
I don’t like you either. Let’s do lunch. Wait, come back. Just kidding. I totally worship you. You are a demi-god. Your BFF forever.
Awesome! Thanks for that.
Great idea! Hey, I’m loving the Nanny Goats in Panties calendar! See you later, alligator. : )
Luckily I came to this conclusion a few years back. If I don’t want to be around someone I just don’t do it. Sadly, a big part of my family was included in the list of people I don’t want to be around - after a few years of sticking to that resolution I broke it this year and I can’t say whether it was a mistake or not, but I can tell you that they STILL suck the life out of me. But they ARE family - I go back and forth on this one, over and over. Good luck with your resolution!!
I’m with Sheila. Not with family. But with stupid people. I just don’t have time for them. There are too many nice people on this earth to waste time on those who I can’t give enjoyment to, or who I can’t get enjoyment from. Think about it. So many nicer people out there. Let’s hunt them down!
Hunt them down and trap them like rats, I say. You don’t want to good people like that to escape.
Yeah, the family one is hard to avoid. At least with friends you can try to squeeze them out of your life. But the holiday thing prevents being able to truly disengage from Cousin Blabbermouth Bertha.
Priceless! Don’t call me, etc. etc. etc……
Seriously, you can’t give your precious time to people who suck the energy from the room. Good luck with this one and Happy New Year, my friend.
That is a great resolution. Quality friendships are sometimes hard to come by and definitely worth the time in cultivating & keeping them for the long haul.
The key to quality friendships is to set your expectations really low so that everyone pleasantly surprises you (as in, at least he didn’t shoot me after mowing me down with his grocery cart in Aisle 6). See? Then you can go about your day still smiling.
My resolution is not nearly as thoughtful as your’s because life is way too short. However, this ecard said it all for me:
http://www.someecards.com/new-years-cards/my-resolution-is-to-get-healthier-while-still-destroying-myself-with-alcohol-and-drugs
Like Drew I cannot get behind a serious resolution for myself. Just saying the word resolution feels like I am guaranteeing my own failure. Although maybe I could work on creating more positive self-fulfilling prophesies.
I’m not exactly serious about this one. I mean, I am, but I’m not. It’s that whole the road to hell is paved with blah blah blah, ya know?
That card? Hilarious.
I’m stuck. I can’t leave the farm and I’ve got to deal with Abby no matter what. I think I will resolve to eat more apples and bask in the sun.
I, too, resolve to eat more and bask around more.
You’re right about the deathbed thing but sometimes I use it as an excuse not to do things. Like nobody on their deathbed ever said they should have done more housework or cleaned the car more often. Doesn’t help when the house looks like an absolute midden and you can’t get into the car because of the grandchildren’s clothes, toys, papers and crisps all over the floor.
Sadly sometimes you just have to visit people that drain you. My step mam is in a care home as she suffers from Alzheimer’s and although it does depress me I still can’t stop visiting her.
Me? I’ve opted out of Facebook, the abode of those with short term attention spans and PhDs in illiteracy. Well not all of them.
Right, because I am one of those Facebook people and I don’t have a short attention span, nor do I have a PhD in illitterussy. Wait, what were we talking about?
Yes, I shall be doing the same. That, and my many yet-to-be-monetarily-satisfying writing endeavors, which I presume you shall be up to your ears in too?
Happy new year, girl!
Happy New Year to you too! May we both be rich and authorial with having to set resolutions.