So, me and the old man are celebrating 11 years of wedded bliss last week by snagging a free room at Thunder Valley Casino and then for whatever reason, they upgrade us to a suite, which we’re very excited about because the screens on the phones and the TVs say “Welcome Mr. D—-” and everything, and the sleek glass and chrome scale in the bathroom reads about 2 pounds lower than at home, so we’re feeling pretty special.
(image source: Thunder Valley Casino)
On the elevator ride back down to the casino — the one with no buttons for the 4th, 13th, and 14th floors (or any room numbers ending in “4”, for that matter) — my marital partner says something about how we’re actually going to pay for this free room somehow or another.
(image source: Thunder Valley Casino)
If only he knew what blatant foreshadowing his words bespoke.
We’re gambling our brains out at the slot machines when we decide to go to the bar because our cocktail server has forgotten about us. I should probably have prefaced this story somehow with how my husband has this method of gambling, where if he’s winning, he pulls out his voucher if it gets too high, puts it in his wallet, and starts over with another $20. It’s like a superstitious thing or something, I don’t know. But I’ll just keep playing the same voucher even if it’s got a bunch of money on it.
Anyway, I’d won $250 earlier that evening, so my voucher was up at about $291, when we decide to go to the bar because our cocktail server failed to show up.
So we jumped up and went to the bar.
Without my voucher.
I left the voucher for $291 in the machine.
I have never (NEVER!) walked away from a machine without removing the voucher and the one time it’s at a ridiculous amount, I just left it in there.
When I returned less than 5 minutes later from the bar where I remembered suddenly having left my money in the machine, you better believe it was gone. Someone cashed it out, left my player’s card in the machine and bolted.
To make a long story short that involved security and checking records and cameras and blah blah blah we learned that someone cashed out my machine less than 30 seconds after we walked away from it, immediately walked over to the cash-out machines, took the money and high-tailed it out of the casino.
Now, I realize that casinos are where the dregs of society hang out, waiting for idiots like me to do something stupid. But just once, I’d like to see an honest person come forward when I’m the victim. This has never happened. I don’t believe those Pollyanna yahoos who say that “People are basically good”, because people are not basically good. People are basically greedy, when given the opportunity. People are basically selfish thieves when they don’t think they will get caught.
People figure they’ve been screwed over enough times in their life, it’s about time they got their comeuppance. Only they probably don’t think of the actual word “comeuppance” because dregs of society have most likely not been educated to a level of using such words.
If people were “basically good”, then people would return stuff more often than not, and in my experience, this is just not the case. Also, people only bring this cliche’-ed phrase up during big disasters, have you ever noticed that? So essentially, “people are basically good” is just a sound byte, not a fact based on science or anything.
Whenever I have accidentally left anything lying around, it has never (NEVER!) been turned in later. Even when it was something completely worthless to them. Like a stupid notebook, with all my writing in it. And my name. And my contact info. And a Lost and Found department nearby. I’m talking to YOU, notebook stealer at the BlogHer conference in Chicago the summer before last! You can suck it!
But since I’m a happy and forgiving person, I’ve let it go. I hardly ever think about it. All the time.
I have no faith in people, basically, is what I’m saying. Maybe I’ve been living in the city too long, but I’m telling you this dark side of society comes more naturally to us than the goodness. It’s in our DNA.
For eons, we have clubbed each other the heads for that brontosaurus burger. We clubbed each other over the heads for that sweet piece of real estate overlooking the tribal fires. And then we clubbed each other over the heads before dragging our unconscious victims to our caves in order to reproduce our barbarian selves.
In other words, we bonked and then we boinked. It’s merely the biological instinct of survival at work here.
I knew I was never going to see that money again, and I mourned my loss and tried to get through the 7 steps of grieving as briefly as possible so it wouldn’t eat at me, meanwhile getting all self-righteous about how I would have turned it in, because it would have been the right thing to do, but since dregs of society don’t do the right thing, it was best to just let it go. Because I’m a happy and forgiving person.
The next day, as I’m walking out of the casino bathroom, I saw, of all things on the floor, a slot machine voucher.
Now, whenever I find a slot machine voucher, it’s always for 1 or 2 cents because nobody is as stupid as me to lose a $291 voucher.
However, this one said 28 dollars and something cents.
After making a big display of the irony or coincidence or whatever of this situation to my husband, I found someone official-looking and presented him with the voucher (and an overdramatic flourish) and said, “In spite of the fact that someone STOLE my voucher last night, I am turning this one in that I found on the floor.”
I wanted him to profusely thank me for being so honest and how that never happens and here’s a free meal or something and I wanted him to grovel, basically, at my saintliness, but all I got was, “Oh, well, we’ll try to track down the owner and we might be able to return it. Thanks.”
And while returning the voucher did strangely take away some of the sting from the night before, you know what all this meant, right?
Yes! It meant that I had now lost $291 PLUS another $28 dollars and something cents!
Did I mention that I’m a happy and forgiving person?
Nice furniture.You have done a great job by sharing this post with us.I would like to read your more updates.Keep them coming.
It is an interesting post. It is a good opportunities to get a free room in Thunder Valley and enjoy your whole day there.
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First of all congratulation ! to you both for completed 11 years successfully. It is an exciting to get a free room at Thunder Valley Casino and spend whole day at there.
Tablepad
Wow ! it is such a nice hotel with latest facility. It is a good picture of Hotel room. I really like the interior of the hotel room. The lighting situation is also nice.
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Dropped a check(over$100) last week and someone returned it to me within 15 mins….was on the sidewalk, luckily it had my address on it.
Wow! You’re lucky! Or you live in the right town.
I don’t recall anyone ever having come up to me and say, “Here, you dropped this.”
Drop that reflexive pronoun, whoever you are, and give Margaret her blog back.
Holy crap! Thanks for that. I can’t believe no one else said anything. It’s like I had a piece of spinach in my teeth and everyone is afraid to say anything, so they let me walk around with it all hanging out and smiling like a jerk - GAHHHHH!!!!!
Of course people are not basically good!
“Goats are basically good.”
I’m researching your nearest goat casino for your next trip…….
In the end it’s all about feeling good about yourself.
….how fucken grown up was that comment!
You’re a good person, and despite what I think of most of humanity…ok, well, just the faculty where I’m studying nursing…I think your actions did make up for those of the dickwad who stole your $291.
“how fucken grown up was that comment!” <- ha!
You kill me, Sandra.
People are basically stupid, too. And in my philosophy of existence, greed and stupidity are two sides of the same coin.
why didn’t the story end with the security guard rewarding you with $291.00 as a thank you for returning the voucher?! That would have been a much better ending. Sorry Nanny Goat, I’m fuming for your loss!!!!!
Sorry, tj. Sometimes, there is no happy ending.
I appreciate your fumes, though.
Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
I agree: People are basically good? Where does anybody get that idea? Don’t they follow the news at all? Are they hermits who never interact with other human beings? That being said, SOME people (like you and me, for instance) are basically good, at least most of the time. Or maybe we just have a stronger conscience and sense of guilt than those naughtier folks.
Exactly! Granted, a casino is not a fair snapshot of what represents honesty and integrity in society (people’s greed gland is overstimulated at such places), I still think people suck because of my having lost items elsewhere. I’m more upset about having lost my writing journals in the past than the stupid money.
Someone stole my husband’s glasses at the gym, and that seemed low. But your journal example takes the cake. It’s truly one of those “What kind of person would…?” situations.
Well, you inspire us with your honesty. Them casinos will get you one way or another.
Don’t I know it! And you’d think I’d never go back to such a horrible place, wouldn’t you?
That truly sucks!!!! I’ve oddly had just the opposite happen. My stuff always tends to show up except a wallet I lost when I was 11. I’m mentally trying to send some of my dumb luck your way.
I am keeping the home fires burning waiting for your dumb luck to arrive. Thanks!
I’m in the Karma club” on this one. Good things will eventually come your way Margaret. As for the jerk that stole your loot— Grrrrrr
jj
Joining the karma club is about the only way to stay sane. Otherwise, i would be a very cranky and bitter, er, crankier and bitterer, person.
I always return whatever I find, including going to some fairly ridiculous measures to try and track down the owner. I have also had my whole wallet, which was stuffed with credit and debit cards and cash returned to me from a parking lot, my keys turned in at my gym (because my gym tag was on them) about 10 miles from the beach where I lost them, and just the other day, a piece of paper in the airport - the piece which had a phone number which was absolutely crucial to finding my friends when I landed.
I think the thought with the voucher might be “The casino is never going to give this to someone who just walks up and asks for it, so I might as well keep it.” Or maybe “Hey! Money! I can keep gambling.”
In our area, the police filled a car trunk with expensive electronics and toys and parked the car in a mall parking lot near Christmas. They left the trunk open and then spied on the car, setting up a “sting” operation (also known as entrapment, but that’s another story). For 3 days they watched as everyone called mall security or the police to report the open trunk. Not a single person tried to take the items. I think that is pretty cool.
Oh my gosh where do you live and can I stay with you until I find an apartment because that’s just not possible!
I’ve always believed honesty is repaid with interest. I believe there is $638 somewhere waiting for you.
I also believe in Karma.
Just past Sunday, I went to the post office… but I was short a few cents for a stamp… and the fellow behind the counter told me not to bother. He was thankful for me helping him & his coworkers earlier with an avalanche of a hundred million bottled-water bottles that fell from a skit.
Then I went to another store… paid and left … only to realize that I was shortchanged !
Gah!!! What a horrible experience! I would have a hard time letting it go as well! That is a lot of money to forgive and forget about!! And you were having a good time too!!
So sorry that this has happened to you! It does suck for sure!!
Hugging you
SueAnn
I tend to agree with your husband’s strategy. However, I’m not quite sure about losing the ticket if it actually cost you anything. I think if you had employed your hubby’s strategy and cashed it out and maybe walked around with the voucher for awhile and then lost it, that might be better classified as lost. By leaving it in the machine it might have actually saved you money because you were so preoccupied with leaving the ticket that you didn’t put anymore money into the machine. Anyway you look at it, it still blows chunks..
See now, you can’t lose the $28 you never really had. So take that one out of the cranky queue. But the $291, man, that sucks donkey balls. I’m sorry. But I have a confession: it wasn’t me.
That sucks BIG TIME!!
Soz NGIP. Hope you didnt let that sour your celebration.
p.s. Why would someone steal a notebook?? paper?? that’s some desperado. Maybe s/he knows you are a star and wanted a sort of autograph??!!
No, I got over it. I had to, or else it would have ruined my day and I didn’t want that to happen.
And who steals notebooks, indeed.
That sucks BIG TIME!!
Soz NGIP. Hope you didnt let that sour your celebration.
p.s. Why would someone steal a notebook?? paper?? that’s some desperado. Maybe s/he knows you are a star and wanted a sort of autograph??!!
“I’m talking to YOU, notebook stealer at the BlogHer conference in Chicago the summer before last! You can suck it!”
Hahahahaha! I’m glad to see you are such a forgiving soul and don’t hold grudges Margaret!
Just so you don’t lose all faith in humanity, there are still good people in this world. Take me, for example. Just today, several of my coworkers were being complete morons and I didn’t maim, injure or kill any of them. If that don’t boost my karma, I don’t know what will!
You are a saint among thieves. Or something like that. I don’t mean that you’re a thief. I meant that you’re a saint and everyone else around you is a thief. Even though I don’t know those people, and they are probably nice, some of them, some of the time. And I’m not talking about the people that you like. They’re cool. It’s those assholes you have to work with that piss me off.
“…we bonked and then we boinked.” While I share your rage about the voucher, that statement made me laugh! I’m going to have to use that during a future overly serious evolutionary biology discussion…
Don’t worry. Your invisible karmic voucher is racking up points. Rest assured that if you drop THAT I will return it to you. Hehehe…
While I may bitchalot on this blog, the primary point is to make people laugh, so thank you for mentioning that.
I think our honesty is sometimes related directly to our financial position of the moment. That poor little mother wandering around the slot machines hoping to win $5 so she could feed her 7 children and infirm husband (who were waiting at the bus station) was probably feeling very hopeless when she saw your voucher sticking out of the machine. Now look at the bright side! She got to feed all those kids and pay for the bus ride back to their little shanty apartment in Marysville after all. It was a happy ending for her and her husband and all them kids.
I think our honesty is sometimes related directly to our financial position of the moment. That poor little mother wandering around the slot machines hoping to win $5 so she could feed her 7 children and infirm husband (who were waiting at the bus station) was probably feeling very hopeless when she saw your voucher sticking out of the machine. Now look at the bright side! She got to feed all those kids and pay for the bus ride back to their little shanty apartment in Marysville after all. It was a happy ending for her and her husband and all them kids.
So what you’re saying is, I did a good deed! Yay for me! I wonder if I can write that off my taxes as a charitable contribution.
I’m in agreement with Linda’s premise here. You can only hope that whoever found it needed the money more than you did…
But it still sucks.
You’re right, Jayne. It was one of the first things I tried to tell myself in order to fall asleep that night.
Okay, that SUCKS donkey balls. I’m so sorry some asshole stole your $291 voucher instead of turning it in. GAH! But, on the plus side your hotel room looks awesomely amazing.
It was a really nice room, I have to say. They even had one of those Keurig one shot coffee makers. (or whatever those things are called where you put one “pod” in for one cup of coffee in 3 minutes).
Oh yes, I LOVE my Keurig coffee maker! It’s the best - ever!
Okay, that SUCKS donkey balls. I’m so sorry some asshole stole your $291 voucher instead of turning it in. GAH! But, on the plus side your hotel room looks awesomely amazing.
I am very sorry you lost your voucher. Better than losing your sanity.
The publicist can tell you that….
Karma will out
I’m sorry your publicist lost her sanity. Wait, that is what you were saying, right?
The publicist has three pregnant goats, one retired spokesgoat 4 cats and a husband.
What do you think?
You my friend are one honest person. I can’t even imagine how you felt when you realized you had left your voucher in the machine. Dang!!!
I commend you for turnin’ in the voucher you found.
Once when I owned a clothin’ store I rented tuxedos. You can only imagine what prom tux returns are like. I boxed the punch stained tuxes up and a few days later receive a 10.00 bill that was found in the pocket of a young mans tux along with the name of the young fella who rented it. I couldn’t believe it even happen. Imagine the surprise of the young man was given his ten dollars back!
I always return anything I find and as many who don’t there are still good people runnin’ loose out there…..especially you!!!
God bless ya and have a marvelous day!!!
Thanks, Nezzy! And thanks for the good story. I need to hear more of those to restore some semblance of faith in people. I know there are good people out there. They just never find MY stuff.
Hey, Nezzy, are you secretly Elmore Leonard? Because I’m reading a book by him for the first time and have kind of struggling through how the entire book is in dialect just like your comment! Which I can understand for the character from Texas, and maybe the one from New Orleans, but not for the two North Africans!
Hey Barbara! If you really want to get an earful of Nezzy’s voice, just read one of her blog posts. She’s the Southern metaphor queen! Her blog is Cow Patty Surprise.
Seems you might employ your husband’s strategy as a form of insurance…
But yes, people do suck! The older I get, the more I begin to understand why “old” people are so grumpy. They’ve been screwed over more than the younger ones. Sorry you lost your money.
So now I’m really confused. I don’t have an “Edit” button under my original comment (which is why I replied to myself) but have an “Edit” button under my reply? Seems I’ve been screwed again…
Stupid edit buttons. I guess they’re fickle today.
But yes, you can bet I’ve employed his strategy for keeping more of my money on my person, than in the machines. It feels the same way as when I locked my keys in the car. It happened once and now I’m paranoid for the rest of my life it will happen again, so I never forgot now.
And yes, I totally get why old people are cranky. And I’m becoming one of them and — Hey! You kids off my lawn!!! — now, what was I sayin’?