Netflix traffic has recently surpassed BitTorrent traffic for the first time ever. This means two things:
1. That honest people outnumber criminals, pirates and weenies. In other words, Good has conquered Evil – woo hoo!
–which, in turn, means–
2. The end of the world must be upon us.
Oh wait! The end of the world is indeed upon us. This Saturday, in fact.
May 21, 2011 is Judgement Day (or is it Judgment Day?) and personally, I can’t wait. Ever since I was in junior high and that rat fink Charlie “High-Nose” Johnson stole my copy of Judy Blume’s Wifey and turned it in to the teacher who gave me detention for possessing pornography, I have been patiently waiting for Judgment Day. High Nose will finally get his comeuppance and I will be there to witness him burn in Hell (because I Facebook friended him last year to keep track of his whereabouts until now).
I’ve also been looking forward to the end of the world because the impossible happens, and I will be there with my camera, live, reporting back to you. I shall capture flying pigs and Hell’s weather patterns so keep your eyes peeled.
Whatever happens on May 21, 2001, I hope God at least decides how to spell Judgement (or Judgment). I mean, just pick one already – Jeez!
One thing is for sure: Judgement Day will not be so good to goats. As I understand it, God will separate the sheep from the goats and the goats will doth be screwed. Just like High Nose Johnson, goats are to be cursed and banished to eternal punishment. And reruns of The Love Boat.
(image via Geek and Poke)
[…] last left our heroine, Garibaldina, on May 21, 2011 grappling with the notion of spending her entire fortune on chocolate Hershey’s kisses and […]
I will be in church at six tonight. When “it” happens. How embarrassing I will be remaining in the pew. I’ll call out, “Well, I TRIED!”
I’m assuming now that “it” has passed that you weren’t the only one left standing in the pews. 🙂
If tomorrow is Judgment Day…then what is going to happen on December 21, 2012? I thought that was the Mayan Judgment Day?
Lanita – there have already been several “end of days” days, and there will be plenty more. You could probably write a blog just on all the judgement days alone.
I say we call it Judgey Day. A day where we can go around without guilt making judgments about people. You know, people who talk too loud on cell phones, don’t make a new pot of coffee when it’s empty and anyone — I mean anyone — who wears their pants around their ass cracks. Oh wait. Judgey Day is every day.
LOL! Wouldn’t that be something to actually have a day where we go around trying not to judge other people?
Judgement Day– I’m running out of time. I better do something reallllly fun tomorrow.
xo jj
Hi Joanna, I’m assuming since I’m still here two days later, that you are too. 🙂
The only thing I could think about was how my freshmen year of high school I checked out Wifey from the public library because it was by Judy Blume. Color me shocked!! I had no idea neither did the town librarian – I must add. I’m assuming because it was a small town and that would have been a scandal. I hope it doesn’t cause me any difficulties come Judgement Day.
Yeah, Wifey was one of “those” books where it was cool being seen at school carrying it around.
Oh how I love that Judy Blume! :o)
“No man knows the hour or the day”…this is what the Bible says so I just poo~poo those end of time books that give us the date of the big event! Sorry…not preachin’…just sayin’.
Geese Louise…if it were true, why the heck am I workin’ like a dog in my flower gardens??? I wouldn’t even get to see ’em grow! :o(
Have a great day, we’ll celebrate May 22…woohoo!!!!
Hear, Hear, Nezzy! People who focus on such things are missing the point of life, I think.
You have a good day, too, and I’ll see you on the other side of May 21!
Blessed be the poor and the goats….
Amen. 🙂
That is just so unfair to those poor little goats. What did they ever do to deserve it? They’re so cute and goat cheese is probably my favorite food in the whole world.
I always misspell judgement too. It’s one of those words that never looks right when I do spell it correctly.
They should make up a new spelling because I think either way is wrong when I look at it. When I tried to look it up for this post, I think they were trying to claim you could do it either way. So there is no one right answer. Which will drive my OCD brain crazy.
This is great–if everyone’s raptured, business is really going to be slow at work. I can finally get that vacation I’ve wanted for the last six years now!
Do you mean to say that you’re just going to stay behind while everyone else goes to Heaven or Hell? Gosh, why didn’t I think of that?
i am so glad to know that good has final conquered evil. now i can relax. too bad i can only relax for 2 more days. i would have liked more time to enjoy it.
i just lol’d at “Judgement Day will not be so good to goats… the goats will doth be screwed”
Well, if nothing else, this will really force us all to live in the moment. For the rest of our lives.
Oh. See, I thought it was Judge Judy day. I was just going to turn off the t.v., but this changes everything. Well, no, actually it doesn’t. God judged me a long time ago. Yup, seems I will be spending eternity as a goat herder.
Silly! Judge Judy Day is July 17. The reason I know this is because it’s one day after my birthday and once when I was 13 years old, I ran into Judge Judy on the street and it was my birthday and I told her I wanted to be just like her when I grew up and she looked my up and down and said, “Honey, don’t waste your time. Stick to flippin’ burgers – that’s where I see you. That, and probably several times in my courtroom by the looks of you.” And then she whack my kneecap with her gavel. Can you believe she walks around with that thing on the street?
It broke my heart. The next day, July 17, she was honored with a golden scale of justice on the Hollywood Court of Fame and the President declared it Judge Judy Day. I can’t watch her show, it’s forbidden in my home, and I can’t watch L.A. Law because I jump out of my trousers every time I hear a gavel slam down on the bench.
Love the cartoon!! Ha! Yes! Judgement day…woohoo!! I am ready! I mean, I am really, really ready! Sometimes this life thing just sucks!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Aw, chin up, SueAnn! Because further research indicates that while Judgment Day is May 21, the actual end of the world does not occur until October something. I’m afraid you’ll have to stick it out another 5 months or so. And if we’re really screwed, then it could be even long after that. Sorry for the bad news. 😉
Reruns of Love Boat?…ok, I so want to be a goat now! I love Doc! No really I do! He was like my “older man crush” when I was 12.
I was more of a Gopher kind of gal.
I hope Judgement Day doesn’t come until after five. It’s Brewfest, you see, and I’ve got a lot of beer to drink before the world ends.
Man, this end of the world thing is kind of harshing my mellow. I mean it’s sort of sucking the life out of the idea behind slowly and leisurely enjoying your last days on earth.
Now if you could just get porn via Netflix, it would totally eliminate the need for BitTorrent.
I never even realized Netflix had no porn. OMG – of course that’s why BitTorrent has so dang much traffic. And I thought it was all the kids stealing music and comic book hero movies.
Will the internet still work on Judgement Day? Cuz that’s all that *really* matters.
I don’t see why not. As least for the good folks because the internet is “cloud” computing, right?
Damn… and four days before my birthday. Guess the goats and I are both screwed this year!
Sorry, Boom Boom. You may want to celebrate your birthday now before it’s too late.
Well concerning your goats and screwed comment I could go there but I won’t ’cause this is a family blog but I will tell you that it is no fun being a retired goat. I miss my little studmuffin Luke.
And you would think that God would know how to spell….
Goats are getting the raw of the deal in this one. But just wait til next apocalypse!
I can hardly wait ’cause you know we goats are going to take over the world.
Maaaahamaaahamaaahahahahaha!
I just saw the article about doomsday in my newsfeed and this post made sense :).
That means no statistics exam on Saturday?? Yipeee!!! Can I be a nanny goat pls pls pls? I wanna watch loveboat reruns. What do I have to do to be a bad old goat? snuff someone?
Oh good. Now I don’t have to worry about finishing my book!
We don’t have to finish anything! Well, except this box of doughnuts.
Yum. Doughnuts!
I am so relieved to hear this. Now I can quit this pesky looking-for-a-job nonsense. It will be ice cream from here on out! Hooray!