Exacting true and just revenge on spammers is impossible. And while I desire to maim them swiftly and severly, it’s mostly illegal in this country. They are pesky flies that won’t die and you swat and flail and miss. And exhaust yourself to endless frustration.
That’s why I like to mock the ever-lovin’ snot out of them whenever and however I can.
Take for example this comment I got recently which got in my craw, so rather than deleting the comment, I responded…
And then I removed the link to their bogus “make money online” scammy spammy ugly icky seedy website, because that’s why these jerkwads comment in the first place. For that insidious back link. Not on my blog, you bozo.
Something to keep in mind is that these are not real people putting up these lame comments, they are pre-wrote messages delivered by ‘spam-bots’. The actual person doesn’t even know your site exists, so it is a waste of time to answer, just flush it. I agree with Adam get a good plugin like Akismet, it saves a lot of time and aggravation..
And this is just ONE of the MANY reasons I love you sofa king much!!!
You tell ’em Margaret. The bastards!
xo jj
I use a WordPress plugin on my site called Akismet. You can get it for free and it can stop a lot of the automatic or generic spam. I don’t know how it works, but I know it does. It catches about 40 spam comments a week on my site.
I do not want a Chinese wife. I do not want a Russian wife. I do not want to meet some woman under 50. I have a wife and her age is over 50 and her age is fine with me. She’s a buzz saw that I can’t begin to keep up with so why would I need two of them. Even if I could get a new one who is only 50, I thought I just made it clear that I would like to live a little longer. I don’t want to meet any young Christian women and, more importantly, I do not want to meet any women who are heathens, young or old.
I am sick of seeing my financial status simultaneously skyrocket and plummet. I am getting tired of seeing hundreds of offers of loans for weird sums ranging from $1,016.00 to $1533.00. Is that all I’m worth?
I have been warned many thousands of times that the new auto insurance laws in Georgia will allow me to insure seven vehicles for a total of four dollars a year. After the warnings are issued, follow-up e-mails harshly chastise me for not heeding the first forty thousand warnings.
I used to like Dr. Oz but if I get one more message from him about trying out his diet plan, I’m having a doll made in his likeness by a local Hatian voodoo guru. The price includes six long sharp jabbing needles. Old Doc Oz is going to need a new cure. You’ll see him begging for relief on “The Doctors'” show.
The huge insult these despicable pieces of trash pile on to the vast heap of injury they deliver us daily is…..none of the illiterate bastards can spell or type. I just got one that says, “Disappointed with sexual helath?” I’ve got to be truthful here. I think I have always been disappointed with my sexual helath I showed this to Katie Mae and she said, “That’s health dumbo. They misspelled it.” I hated to tell her I thought it was Italian for somehow getting the heels of your feet involved in a sexual act. I don’t think she could have handled the thought.
Forgive me for sharing part of an old blog of mine. I’m really all emotionally torn up and thinking of filing an age discrimination suit against Kate Upton. I have not heard from her a single damned time.
I’m going back to loving Nanny Goats who go topless and only wear panties.
This one made me truly “LOL”. Frankly I believe in public executions for Spammers. Make me Queen of this dump and that’ll be my first order of business. 🙂
This is great. Spammers are so annoying and when you can get a little “justice” it is well called for. 🙂
Am I the only one who doesn’t know who the hell Kate Upton is without Google’s assistance?
Also, I know a Nigerian prince who could really use your help.
And now, you just made me Google Kate Upton. Nothing about spam, but apparently Kate Upton is a famous person that goes to a prom. And I would love to help your Nigerian friend. Feel free to give him and all his friends my email address. It’s bite.me@threeoclock.com
I love this blog very much. Really, I do, even though I have NOT read, reviewed, appraised or savoured every amazing post you have written. I sometimes have to stop all the blog reading to eat. I am quite attached to eating. I hope you will forgive me for my weaknesses and be my best friend. Say, new best friend, how about making a contribution to the Fund for Squirrel Domination of the World. Once in power, I will make sure spammers are fricasseed.
Mmmmmmm, fricaseed spammers. My favorite dish. Who do I make the check out to?
Margaret, it’s taken me FOREVER to finally leave a comment here…I am just so devastated by the fact that you’ve publicly admitted that Kate Upton, Pricilla AND Ruth are all your BFFs and MY name is nowhere to be found! After all the years we haven’t known each other! Remember that time in high school when we didn’t hang out ’cause we didn’t go to the same high school and we didn’t even live in the same country? Sigh. Nonexistent good times.
Oh my dear Nicky. You are not my BFF. You are my Internet wife, and there is a difference. Everyone knows people can’t marry their best friends. Will a cyber romantic getaway to Madrid make up for it?
Yes. 🙂
you go, girl! keep attacking like they do you. LOL 😀
Thank you for your support, Linda! 🙂
I love this blog very much. I am thrilled that Kate Upton is your friend. I read every post too and want to be friends with you and Kate. I am nice Russian lady and looking for companons to share love amd more. Please visit me on my site too. Here is link: http://www.russianbrides lookingforgood.insurancerates.
Oh good lord, I love your URL, nice Russian lady. 🙂
I don’t get spammers. I got tons of them on the book website before I just turned off the commenting, but never on my blog. And now I just feel slighted, like I’m not good enough for them.
I wish I weren’t good enough for them. Actually, I’m shocked they haven’t attacked you yet. I thought they descended on everyone. It could be just a matter of time though, so consider yourself lucky for now. Besides, was it Groucho Marx that said something about not wanting to join a club where they’d have him as a member? I’m not sure how appropro that is, but it popped into my head anyway.
You are my hero.
And you, are my fair lady. 🙂
argh, The amount of spam I get nowadays makes me want to tear my hair out. Same supposed to be flattering but idiotic comments. They deserve to be sent to spam purgatory for purging 🙁
It’s nice to see so many people banding together like this in the comment section. There must be some way to harness this angry mob and channel bad mojo their way.
Margaret, I totally share your frustration — and love your directness in addressing the problem. Take that, you spammer bozos!
If you can’t beat ’em, smack ’em. Or something like that. 🙂
Oh how I wish these spammers would spend what appears to be copious amounts of time (especially when they have enough time to review every single blog post) on good endeavors instead of evil.
Amen, Ann!
Oh, snap!
Thank you, Boom Boom. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I have read your every single blog post at least three times each. In fact I have several of them memorized, and I enjoy reciting them at gatherings to the delight of family and friends!
Ruth, you are now my very best friend. Also? You crack me up.
What annoys me most of all about spammers is exactly that. They are just like those pesky flies. I often want to reply to the email spam I get, but I know they don’t actually read it and it would probably bounce right back at me, especially as I’ve been sending myself spam lately!
I think it’s nonadvisable to reply back to those creeps because then you are giving them your email address to add to their spammy lists – ack!
And I would love to know how you send yourself spam, Babs.
I have no idea, but I’ve been (and still am) sending myself all sorts of spam. I changed my email password and got dozens of undelivered spam messages, but now I’m back to the spam again.
I hate spam too because I am a vegetarian goat and don’t eat meat.
I thought I was your best friend. I am going to go hide my head in a basket of hay.
Whoops, did I say someone else was my best friend? Er, I meant to say you and then AFTER you, that bozo was my 2nd best friend. 🙂