When I was a kid, my mother would have me fetch her things while her nose was buried in the latest issue of Alfred Hitchcock or Ellery Queen magazine and her hand was buried in a bag of Doritos. Her blue, worn recliner was perched squarely in front of the TV. I resented my childhood slave job, because she was closer to the damn refrigerator. She thought it was funny to ask me to stand up from the couch and then say, “While you’re up…”
She bought Tab, Fresca and Diet Pepsi by the truck load and returned all the bottles. Tall skinny glass bottles with white rub marks from the thousands of previous drinkers out of those same reused bottles.
Like every other kid in my neighborhood, I walked to elementary school. Although there were enough kids to supply the school, they were dwindling. The rest of the residents in my neighborhood were senior citizens. My old brick school is now a community center, having closed down in 1975, due to the lack of kid population.
Our tree-canopied street in Sacramento was lined with small houses (ours was 800-900 square feet), built in the 1940s. No two were alike. The driveways were wide enough for the one car each family owned. I know no one would ever dare do this today, but my sister and I shared a bedroom! Oh, the oppression!
I, like so many children of the 70s, grew up on television (and its four channels). I remember coming home from school to the sound of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman blasting from the boob tube. Then the worshipped after-school children’s programming began with Cap’n Mitch. Cap’n Mitch was a local TV personality, rumored to be a troll in public, who wore a captain’s hat and introduced cartoons and sometimes hosted this wierd phone game where kids would call in and play Atari-like video games like bowling or shooting, yelling “Pow!” and winning fabulous prizes. After Cap’n Mitch were shows like Lost in Space, The Partridge Family and The Brady Bunch. My mom would start cooking dinner sometime during Star Trek and by the time the credits rolled, she had food on the table. At exactly 6:00pm every night. I’m certain it’s the reason I’m so anal about time today. I will speed up or slow down on the road just so I can arrive somewhere exactly on time. I will get anxious if someone is five minutes late. I will get angry if it’s more than fifteen. I once broke up with a guy because he was ALWAYS late. And I’m not talking about five minutes. I’m talking about NINETY minutes. Every time! I wouldn’t have made a good boyfriend. Waiting for my girlfriend to put on her shoes and whatever else it is that girls have to wait until the boyfriend arrives to start doing before they are ready to leave would have driven me batshit.
We turned off the TV during dinner, but after the crumbs flew and we wolfed down tiny dry pork chops with instant mashed potatos and canned peas, or tuna noodle casserole (to this day I can’t eat cream of mushroom soup), the TV was turned back on for Emergency (“We’re on our way, Rampart!”) and Adam-12 until the prime time stuff came on. Then it was Good Times, Little House on the Prairie, Maude (“God will get you for that, Walter”), and Happy Days. Oddly, we never watched the news.
We visited my paternal grandparents’ house on Thursdays and watched The Waltons (“Good night, John Boy”). We visited my maternal grandparents on Sundays and watched Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, Lawrence Welk, and The Wonderful World of Disney, which was always disappointing because they almost never played Disney cartoons, but instead played some stupid nature show. Come to think of it, I was always bored during those shows, but it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
We visited my parents’ friends on Saturday nights and while they played cards, we watched Love Boat and Fantasy Island (“The Plane! The Plane!”). My mother, playing cards with everyone in the dining room (which was NEXT to the kitchen) would call out to one of us to get her a Diet Pepsi. We were way the hell out in the living room! I guess she at least had the courtesy to wait until a commercial.
When I was lucky or old enough to watch late night TV, Tom LaBrie hosted Night Comfort which alternated his laid back spots about La Brie’s Waterbeds with old movies. Tom oozed groovy 70s with his sleepy New York-accented voice. Who better to talk about waterbeds?
I remember watching All in the Family, not sure how appropriate that was for a 10 year-old, but I would stress out whenever Meathead and Archie got into an argument. I grew up in a very light-hearted, easy-going household, so I would feel incredibly tense and anxious when the two characters got into their arguments.
I never heard my parents argue. They split up after twenty years of non-confrontational marriage when I was sixteen. I spent a long time thinking if you did argue, it was over. I always avoided arguing in a relationship, but I think I also figured out that you could discuss serious issues without a feeling of confrontation, and without breaking up a relationship.
I decided early on that I was never going to get married. I mean, if you could divorce after twenty years, how much time did you need to know a guy before you were sure?
So, after knowing this one guy for twenty-one, I relented at the age of thirty-four and said “I do.”
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I’m currently on Crotchety Old Man’s tail for the 2008 Humor Blogger of the Year Award. You can help me beat him by clicking HERE and voting for Nanny Goats In Panties. I’ve got my eye on you, Crotchety Old Man!!
Well, with us it was coffee– we always got my parents coffee when they asked. I don’t make my kids bring me food and drink–why is that? We watched all the same shows you did, so I’m guessing we might be the same age. My parents are still together, but I married too soon, was divorced, stalked, learned to say GET LOST and then found my soul mate when I was almost 30. Life before then sucked to say the least. Sorry I have no point here. I’m just rambling and you are the lucky one to read it. BAHAHAHAHA
TV Dinners!?!? My father refused to eat them so that meant I never had a frozen meal until I was out on my own. Dad also didn’t like Seafood which resulted in my being escorted at the age of 23 to an Oyster Bar and observed while I ate a dozen or so.
Oh, and here in the swamps we only had NBC and CBS. No ABC and PBS showed up when I was in high school.
Thanks for the memories of all those shows. I forgot about Lost in Space. I loved that one. Mom wasn’t much of a cook. She didn’t like meat so she didn’t know how to cook it. The Cream of Mushroom Soup went off my grocery list years ago!
I remember watching Dark Shadows in the 70s as a kid because I thought it would be cool since it was about vampires. It was a flippin’ soap opera. How tricksy was that!!!!
Did you ever have boil in the bag meat for dinner? My mom usually served it over rice. I kinda liked it.
I met Cap’n Mitch when I won a read a thon in like the sixth grade.
Crazy how many tv channels we have now compared to then.
This was fun, we’ll have to do it again sometime! : )
great post…makes me reminisce about the good old family days. Im also a closet punctuality freak. Nice to know I’m not the only one!! I’ll be interested in future posts enlightening those of us totally lost on how to make it through a long-term relationship let alone a marriage.
I loved this post Margaret!! Ah, the smell of tuna casserole wafting thru the house.
I couldn’t wait for Ed Sullivan on Sunday nights. I was in the 4th grade the night The Beatles were to be on. It was snowing and stormy in Montana. The lights went out right before the show started. My dad could not understand why I was upset. I actually prayed for the electricity to come back on. It did..just in time. I was religious for about a year after that.
My parents never argued either..but their not speaking was “very loud”. They divorced when I was 11.
Hoss and Joe and Adam know that every rock is mine… here in the west we’re living in the best, BONANZA!!!
Book-em Danno.
Meet George Jetson…. His boy Elroy…. Daughter Judy…. Jane, his wife.
Yep….I survived those years as well, along with all the green bean casseroles with cream of mushroom soup and the crunchy onions on top. In fact, I still enjoy them. As for the parents… well, they made it 32 years and then said adios.
Enjoyed your post!
http://theblueridgegal.blogspot.com/
I just found your blog today and, I. LOVE. IT!
You got my vote!
‘So, after knowing this one guy for twenty-one, I relented at the age of thirty-four and said “I do.”‘
I’ve never heard the word ‘relented’ used so romantically
I lived on a tree-lined street in a different town in a 900-sq ft house. Seemed huge back then. My first school became the community center. Our house had a one-car driveway. We watched Dr. Max after school and he was reportedly a troll in public. He played 3 Stooges and great cartoons, so I didn’t care – he didn’t live next door. I watched Dark Shadows after school too – well before Mary Hartman, which in our town, played after the 10 pm news. Our Sundays were the same. My grandparents still watch Lawrence Welk in rerun and it still puts me right to sleep.
Ah, you must be my age. Good post! And I found my way here by black box. (Not flu powder:))
Midlife Mama gave us both a shout out in her post today which was inspired by this one. This was great. I had forgotten about but remember all these shows. When I was a kid, (I’m the baby), my brother used to pay me $2/week to be his tv slave. (other duties included making bologna sandwiches on demand) He would call me down from my room upstairs to change the channel 6 feet away from him. When he moved out, my mother made him pay me 2 weeks severance. LOL
That is a great post–and I have to say I was allowed to watch pretty much anything as a kid. Although my “anything” was Married with Children and The Simpsons so it’s a little different than what you grew up on!
I remember when I was really little having to go to bed right after McHale’s Navy. It ruined me on the show because I dreaded the ending. LOL I’ve been voting for you as much as I can. We’ll submarine that Crochety Old Man for sure!
It was called Disney’s Wonderful World of Color until 1969 because it was one of the first shows in color. There’s some useless trivia for you. 🙂
Good luck in the voting.
Heavens to Bobby and Cissy! I remember hearing the overtones of Lawrence Welk at my grandparents’ home and feeling depressed that there wasn’t something better on tv.
My old brick school is now a Department of Corrections center. Kind of appropriate, I think. 🙂
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but…
MAN I FEEL YOUNG 😀
I have no idea what half the stuff is that you’re talking about lol.
My grandma got a colored TV way before we did. when we went to her house for the weekend, we always wanted to stay for the Disney show so we cuold see the peacock tail in color.
“Beats a poke in the eye with a shrp stick!” OMG! I thought that was an original by my Mom!
Great trip, thanks!
I remember “Little house on the prairie” I loved Laura Ingles because she wouldn’t take crap from Nelly OLsen Now there’s a face I could slap. What happened to the actress who plkayed her?
Hmmm… I remember being plopped in front of the TV on Sunday evenings, 7:30, so I could watch The Muppet Show. But I was a child in the 80s, so most of my early TV memories involve afternoon cartoons like Transformers, He-Man, and Inspector Gadget.
I remember all those shows too. In fact, we now have RTN (retro tv network) and I can watch them all again. If I can stand it. Emergency is on daily at 4pm : )
Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?
You watched the exact same shows as we did. Here’s a few you “missed”: The Carol Burnett Show and (don’t laugh) Hee Haw. My brother and I semi-liked country-western music due to exposure by irresponsible grandparents, so we never missed an episode.
The Wonderful World of Disney! I learned to read the TV section of the paper on Sundays to find out what would be on. Worst: nature documentaries. Best: “That Darn Cat” or some other wacky teen comedy.
What a great post! We weren’t allowed soda at my house, and television was a rarity — but at my grandma’s house, it was a soda/tv extravaganza, glass bottles and all. This post brought back so many memories. (And I love the twist at the end!)
Great post! I always make fun of my hubby because he wasn’t allowed to watch Three’s Company because his parents thought it was too risque!
okay one more and I’m done; sorry. Your life was such a parallel of mine that I’m amazed. My parents never fought in front of us kids, either, and thus I always do the same thing you do — if we have a fight, it means we’re breaking up and it’s so over. I never learned how to properly fight without thinking we have to break up. I, too, can’t stand it when characters on TV shows argue. It makes me nervous and anxious. My husband likes to watch those political shows on TV where they “debate” (i.e. argue with each other, talk over the top of each other). Ugh. Makes ms very, very nervous and upset to watch those.
Oh, and one more thing: Didn’t you hate it when Wonderful World of Disney did those nature shows? Our treat on Sunday evenings, was that we got to eat dinner in front of the TV on TV Trays. That was a super treat for us. We would watch “Lassie” and then “Wonderful World of Disney.” We always had our big Sunday meal at noon after church, so generally for our Sunday supper we had hot dogs and chips, coke and cookies or ice cream for dessert. That was such a great treat!
Fun memories!
Oh, what a fantastic post. I watched every show you mentioned and ate every meal as well. (I am still a cream of ‘shroom soup enthusiast.) My folks were married a long time,too, but fought (loudly) every inch of the way…other than that, we’re separated at birth, sis!
BTW, I campaiged HARD to name our daughter Maude. I even had the tiny newborn full-length sweater-vests all picked out. But I got shot down by the hubby. He was like, “Who’s Maude?” and I was all, “You better not have passed THAT gene along, bud.”
Thanks for sweet journey, Nanny Goats.
Hi, I just came over to your blog from Smart-Mouthed Broad’s blog, and nearly fainted. Okay, did you live with us? ‘Cuz you described my life nearly to a “T”. I grew up in the 60s and early 70s, graduating from high school in 1976. I grew up in the Sacramento area (Fair Oaks to be exact) and other than the fact that your parents divorced, and my mom actually cooked cool meals and didn’t use me for an errand-girl, you described my life. OMG That is weird. We watched the exact same shows. My parents played cards with their friends on Saturday nights while my brother and I watched Love Boat and Fantasy Island.
And Cap’n Mitch? I didn’t think anyone else knew who Cap’n Mitch was!!! Wow!! What a great stroll down Memory Lane. That is soooo spooky. We moved from Sacramento in 1974, when I was 16, but depending on how old you are, we could have gone to school together. How weird is that??
Anyway, thanks for the great memories. Did you and your neighborhood kids all get together in the late afternoon and evenings on summers days and play kick the can and crack the whip???
Considering the serious topics Maude covered (such as abortion), I’m surprised you were allowed to watch it, as well.
Mind you, its watching reruns later in life that makes you appreciate the “edginess” it had at the time.
My kids will never truly understand the excitement of catching a commercial for the next Charlie Brown holiday special, and then look forward to it for weeks.
For some reason, that makes me very sad. Curse you CDs and DVR!
And Emergency! I can remember that being my first crush – the blonde one, whomever that actor was. Set the tone for the rest of my boyfriend, and eventual husband, life.
Thanks for the trip.
Em
So I shouldn’t serve the Creamettes and Mushroom soup when you come to dinner?
That’s quite a stroll down memory lane. I still shudder in horror when I think of old Lawrence Welk episodes. Also, you went to the same school my step-mom did (although about 30 years later…). I drive by that old beautiful old school every once in a while.