For some strange reason, I always think that the B-Holes of society grow out of life’s phases right along with me. I’m repeatedly surprised to hear that children still bully each other, as if I thought the notion were reserved for the 1970s. Shouldn’t bullying be considered cliche by now?
I mean, where are juvenile delinquents’ sense of fashion and pop culture when it comes to bad behavior, I ask you. And it’s not just bullying. Why just last week, I was having this one-sided conversation with my husband, Grimfeld (he won’t let me print what he said):
Me: You mean people are still killing each other? But that’s soooo ten years ago.
Me: Gangs? They still have gangs? Are you kidding me? I thought we took care of all that with No Child Left Behind, and every kid gets a trophy for every little thing, and T-Ball and haven’t people grown up?
Me: Well, those are just people on the news. I don’t associate myself with those kinds of people. My circle of people are past that kid’s stuff.
Me: What? Aunt Wilma and Uncle Piebald are still fighting? What on earth after all these years could they be possibly fighting about? Aren’t they in their fifties? And Uncle Chester is still living with his mother? Isn’t he sixty-something? And divorced four times?
Me: Well I don’t live with those people, so that doesn’t really count. It’s not like I had anything to do with raising them or anything.
Me: What? Francine smokes pot? Our Francine? Our little Francine? Do they still even make pot? I thought that was something people did a long time ago. I thought humanity in general was over that by now.
Me: Well, at least it’s not me. At least I’ve grown-up. I have responsibilities. You don’t see me living with my parents. Or acting like an idiot, shoplifting or what-have-you.
Me: What? That’s not shoplifting. The grocery store writes that stuff off anyway. If they don’t want anybody eating it, they should just package it instead of selling it as bulk. It’s not like they have signs around saying, “Please do not eat the malted milk balls”, do they?
Me: What? It is not illegal if I open it. If they are going to put it in my mailbox, it’s mine to open. I can say I wasn’t paying attention, I thought it was for me. So what if it’s their bank statements, I can tell them I never actually LOOKED at them.
Me: I am NOT a liar! You’re the liar.
Me: I know you are but what am I?
See what I mean? Even Grimfeld got all childish on me! When will people just grow up already? Sheesh!
(P.S. Yes, people this is fiction. Who has a husband named Grimfeld?)
At press time, Wink’s lawyers are negotiating with the hostage takers shelter’s lawyers for Wink’s release. Wink’s owner appreciates all of your support during this difficult time. Let’s hope Wink comes home soon.
Sticks and stones….
Great post. I have lots of those conversations. Without my husband. Just me. In my head. And it sounds amazingly just like your entire post.
Wha? Francine smokes pot? Oh do tell more.
As the tears roll down my face, I’m adding you to my Blogroll. I’m gonna attempt to read one more, but if I pass out or burst a blood vessel in my eye or what have you, well… actually… it’ll be worth it.
Wow! Haha! That is so true! And funny. I actually thought there was a person named Grimfeld. Haha. Great post! Will share this with friends.
For your information MY husband is named Grimfeld.
Sincerely,
Sondra Stinglash
P.S. OK. You got me! Fiction! Who has a last name of Stinglash?
Fiction or not, I sorta feel the same way sometimes. That was really a good post though. Funny and true.
The first two are very funny. I think those kind of things all the time.
Seriously one time I remember thinking something like ‘dogs still chase cats’? Like-haven’t the dogs become enlightened by now?
Blessings, very interesting blog name, it certainly brought a smile to my face.
In regards to bullying, my response to that is, “the more things change, the more they stay the same”.
Have a blessed day.
Sounds like Aunt Wilma and Uncle Piebald should get in contact with Francine…
Now that’s the kind of husband I want. I don’t even want to HEAR him argue with me.
I thought the bulk stuff was meant to be tasted before we actually had to make the monetary investment. Tell Grimsie if he’d smoke pot once in a while he wouldn’t be so analytical.
Hilarious! Sounds like conversations between my hubby and I. He thinks I live in a happy bubble. And maybe I do… LOL
Haha-I’m a teacher. We steal everything not screwed down. And then, we blame the kids. True story. Not me, I’d never do that and no, I didn’t break pre-K’s wagon by letting a kid pull my fat arse around. My student, in one of those temper tantrums she has, kicked the wheel off. Oh yeah? Prove it!
I, personally, have a huge malt ball writeoff.
And I don’t even have a store.
:^) Anna
P.S. I hope Wink’s lawyers are sharks! Get ‘em!
Ha ha! I bet the malted milk balls bit wasn’t fiction ;O)
LOL! Great post!
And I got a chuckle from the “this is fiction” footnote. That *had* to be just for me. I can be dense like that.
Well I mean honestly what are they going to do weigh you when you walk into the market then weigh you when you leave? What if you just had extra water weight? What if you had to pee? What if you just ate one-cluster of grapes? Well?
It sure would be nice if the whole world grew up when you did.
Haha that’s shoplifting?
It totally doesn’t count if you forgot about the big bag of catfood on the bottom of the cart, especially if you were high at the time and distracted because you were bullying the person in line behind you.
“What the hell are you eating, you loser? I can just hear your arteries clogging and that juice is just loaded with high fructose corn syrup! Stupid loser.”
I love your sense of humor. Boy you are so good at all those topics of the world. Had a good laugh. Thank you. Now let’s hope poor winks makes it home!
You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/04/five-star-friday-edition-50.html
The world is going downhill. Grimfeld. Great name.
I’m glad you went to bat for Wink. I wish Wink well. And I wish Wink’s friends well, too. And the people at the shelter probably screw it up and do it wrong, sometimes. But they save animals, too. So they’re cool.
And I really enjoyed the one-sided argument in which all of your husband’s comments were removed. It’s nice to have your say and just not be challenged and disagreed with and forced to grow all the time. It’s empowering, in a way. I like you.
A fashion timeline on bad behavior. I like the notion… But then again, with the way fashion seems to evolve/ devolve nowadays, maybe it’s not that great an idea. God knows what drastic mutations bad behavior will take… After all, bad behavior will still remain… It will just be present in different forms.
I think I speak for a whole bunch of us when I say … gulp…
I thought the fruit in the produce section was free … ? It isn’t??? My bad! [lol]
Keep us posted about Wink. I still say we get the Marine’s and take the ‘shelter’ out …
LOL!
Happy Friday!!
funny
One of the good things about having children is that all the stuff they can get up to has been done before. A lot of it by me personally, so I know the signs.
One of the bad things: There are always new permutations to their evil ways…
I truly need to stop by here more often! Your humor is enough to lift my spirits in the midst of my grief
grimfeld? i am now going to try to convince my husband to change his name to grimfeld. it sounds perfect!
People still smoke pot?! Oh, my word! Is the room spinning? I feel faint! I thought this had been taken care of!