I’m going to start blogging for the deaf:
FIRST OF ALL I’D LIKE TO THANK MY DEAF READERS FOR COMING TODAY. WE LOVE OUR FELLOW DEAF PEOPLE AND THINK THEY ARE JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE ONLY… WHAT’S THAT?…
Oh. My producer is telling me that I don’t need to yell on my blog for deaf people. I guess they must have one of those newfangled hearing-impaired Blog Reading Devices (or, BRDs for the acronymically-inclined).
However, there is another group of people I’d like to welcome to Nanny Goats in Panties and that’s the blind people. You heard me (YOU TOO, DEAF PEOPLE! - I mean - you too, deaf people.)
Anyway, to all my new blind readers:
HELLO TO ALL MY NEW BLIND FANS! CAN YOU SEE ME OKAY? FIRST OF ALL, I’D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT WE LOVE BLIND PEOPLE. AND THAT WE HERE AT NANNY GOATS IN PANTIES CONSIDER YOU TO BE JUST LIKE NORMAL HUMANS…WHAT’S THAT?
Oh. What? Them too? Excuse me, my producer has just informed me that we don’t need to yell at the blind people, either. Boy, the next thing you’re going to tell me is that we don’t need to yell at dumb people as well.
Anyway, now that all the niceties are past us, I’d like to tell all you other insensitive bloggers how to be more accessible to the visually impaired. Seriously. You probably didn’t even realize that blind people surf the internet all the time. And that’s why I’m here to help. ‘Cause I’m a helper.
So, according to the American Federation for the Blind, here are just a few tips:
- If you have a blog roll, move it to your left-hand sidebar. Blind people use screen readers that begin from right-to-left and the last thing they want to do is listen to one long ass list of links before getting to your blog post for the day.
- If you want comments, don’t make them “enter characters seen in an image”. Also, if you can, label all your text entries in the comment form properly so they know what you are asking for.
- Describe your images. In HTML, you can provide alternative text for images by adding alt=”your description of the image” within the image tag. Here is an example of a properly alt-tagged image:
< img alt=”blind man walks into bar” height=”30″ src=”imgdir/blindmansbrokentooth.jpg” width=”30″ />
It’s all about making your site more accessible. For more detailed info, you can go to the site from the AFB (American Federation for the Blind).
So if you know any visually impaired or blind people, send them to Nanny Goats in Panties. Or if YOU are visually impaired or blind, I’d love your feedback. But your Martian friends? You can tell them to forget it. We don’t need their kind here, the green boyfriend-stealing bastards.
I had no idea blind people read blogs. How ignorant of me! Thanks for the info…and might I also add how cool it is to finally learn why ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT ME ALL THE TIME!
WHAT? WHAT?
Ok you are hysterical. Thanks for stopping by on my SITS day!
Truly, I learn something everyday! I’ll work on it.
Two out of three! Not bad. And I don’t even include that many pictures on my blog. But from now on I will include descriptions!
Wow. I had no idea blind people read blogs, and I certainly didnt know how to make my blog more handicapped accessible.
Oh, but I think it’s ALWAYS okay to YELL at stupid people.
Why didn’t I realize that blind people could serf the web too?
This is really helpful information. According to everyone I know, I’m handicapped just by using Blogger instead of WordPress.
But seriously, I would like to make my blog more accessible. I’m an equal opportunity offender. I think it’s wonderful that there are programs to help the visually impaired read blogs if they so choose.
I’ll have to check and see if there’s a better option than regular Captcha available on Blogger.
And I’d like to tell Lisa Anne that I’m glad her son has his hearing now but sad if she subjects him to her ignorant tirades. (I thought twice before I posted that, Lisa Anne.)
Hey, who knew?
You are such a smart goat!
DAMN IT!
Oh, I mean … damn it. Sorry … didn’t mean to yell.
My blog roll is to the left and well, it just needs to stay there a bit because it’s all I could do to get the damn page up.
I TOTALLY (sorry, yelling again) agree about the stupid character in image thing. Half the time the letters and numbers are on top of each other and you can’t make them out anyway.
And people!!!! Set your blogs up so that when someone comments and leaves their name and URL, make it so that the link works!
I think I only have one Martian friend and I told him he wasn’t allowed here, ok?
hmmm, insightful post and one or two curious comments. if you never make anyone mad then yer just not trying hard enough!
YOU ARE AWESOMENESS WRAPPED UP IN FANTASTIC. SRSLY. AND I’M NOT SHOUTING at YOU; I’M TALKING LOUDLY IN EXTRA-ADDED ENTHUSIASM FOR HOW AWESOME YOU ARE.
The information in this post is great.
And someone totally needs to invent an enthusiasm font.
I love you being politically incorrect….xoxxo
Oh Jeez i’m half Martian :/
WHAT?!
WHAT?!
My blog is handicap-accessible…well, to me, anyway.
And I’m pretty danged handicapped.
IN AN EFFORT TO TREAT ALL EQUALLY I YELL AT EVERYBODY!
Hmm, if I tried to fully describe some of my pictures with ALT tags, they would say things like “Dennis and Trixie discover Tucker alone in a submarine wearing a Napoleon hat and surrounded by a mysterious pile of bones”. Which would probably just confuse everyone.
Don’t stop yelling at the dumb people.
This was really interesting. Thanks for posting it!
Next, please provide tips for making our blogs more goat-friendly.
Aside from putting our posts in a wafer cone for easy feeding.
This device for the blind reads from right to left???? Was it invented by people who only speak Hebrew????
Crazy!!!
What jackass determined that “If You Cannot Read This, Click Here” was helpful to anyone? Can a blind person read that and if they can read it, they don’t need assistance. Who needs the help?
I’ve just never understood that one. It’s like when my ex emailed me and said “Let me know if you do not receive this email”.
I said EX.
Green boyfriend-stealing bastards? I sense a background story here, Margaret…
Wait…..
What????
You have a producer???
Thank you, Lisa Anne. I wondered who the first delicate person to take offense would be. You came sooner than I expected. And now, dear NannyGoats, you need to put this on Twitter so the rest of the screamers can join in. Sign me-One Who Knows
I just finished an online course run by a professor with visual impairment. We had to make all of our power point presentations accessible.
Of course it never occurred to me to make the blog accessible.
Good point, NGIP!
Geez, blind people are demanding. That’s all quite good advice, tho. I actually moved my Blogroll to its own page because someone at BlogHer told me to.
This post was both friendly AND informative. A perfect marriage of right, and well, a little wrong. 😉
WOW did I miss the butt of the joke here or something. I don’t judge anyone but what the fuck are you thinking. This is the most insulting rudest post I have ever read. Do you even know anyone who is deaf and or blind? Well I do and I’m sorry this is worse then making racial jokes on your post. You just lost me as a follower and I’m sure hoping others stop reading you blog. Karma’s a bitch look out you don’t become blind or deaf or your children or your childrens children.
For the record, my son was deaf for 2 years of his life and it was ignorant people like you who made fun of his “alien” speach. Serioulsy get a life and think before you post!
I’m sure all your sponsors will probably drop you after finding out you posted this. Sarcasim doesn’t = funny.
An no I’m not going to post this as an anonymous person.
I hate stupid people too, but there is no need to bring people who are deaf and blind who can’t help that into the mix. Stupid people even though they should be aren’t handicap. I think you’ll find most blind and deaf people will be the nicest you meet. POOR FORM IN METAPHORES, POOR FORM to try to prove your point.
Hey! That’s insulting! I have a Martian friend who would never think of stealing someone’s boyfriend! As soon as she probes them, she always gives them right back! Discrimination!
This goat doesn’t do HTML so she is in trouble. Oh well. Back to eating weeds.
Thanks for the tips but I’m wondering if we stop yelling at stupid people wouldn’t all the yelling stop?
I’m with Em up there and would like to yell at the people who won’t speak English. [ha ha]
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I was just going to send you the link you posted on your entry. The side bar thing is definitely big for those who use screen readers. Also keep the colors (text and background) contrasting. I’m partially sighted and there’s nothing like trying to read yellow text on a green background *GRARGHRRRR* No a screen reader wouldn’t have proerly pronounced that word…well it may try…
Oh yes and basic webmaster etiquette is don’t auto play your videos and music. This will drive a blind person (or a sighted one in some cases) INSANE!!!
I’ve always strived to make my blog accessible to all since the very beginning.
If you want to see how Screen Readers look at your blog, simply turn off the CSS
In Firefox: View > Page Style > No Style
In Safari: Develop > Disable Styles
As long as your sidebars are below the blog-posts in HTML you should be fine. With CSS magic you can move them anywhere !
Ahhhhh. Hmmm. Well, I only have one side column, but I’ll make sure to put it over to the left on the next redesign.
‘Cuz I get bored easily.
Do you need to yell at those of us with ADD?
Is that what that little “wheel chair” icon means after word verification? I always wondered.
May I still yell at people who don’t understand English? Just checking.