We were in this restaurant but it was really your living room, except there were a bunch of other tables covered with red and white checkered tablecloths and strangers bent over huge bowls of soup with whole lobsters sticking out and clicking their claws. And you were reading my blog just like you are now, but it was projected on the wall and you scrolled through it with a brass hand crank attached to our table, like it was a normal thing to do. And you were wearing a red top hat with a zebra-like feather sticking out the side.
And this goat came up and barked like a dog and you started laughing and I started laughing and then I stopped laughing because I realized it wasn’t supposed to be funny but you wouldn’t stop laughing and it started pissing me off and I said “What the matter with you?” only I had to yell over the loud syncopated clacking of the lobster claws and you wouldn’t look at me, you kept looking at the wall and reading my blog like you are now and I couldn’t get your attention and everyone else was looking at the wall and pointing and laughing at my blog and I couldn’t focus on it, but I knew there was some humiliating picture on it that I accidentally uploaded and clicked on SUBMIT before I realized what happened, like a naked picture of me running to class because I was going to miss my final exam and flunk out of college.
And then I woke up this morning all mad at you and wanted to just smack you as soon as you got here, and tweet in ALL CAPS at you, but I held back because it was just a dream, but it felt so real, and now every time I look at you, I’m still pissed because why the hell were you laughing at me and not listening to me, so until that feeling goes away I just can’t talk to you right now.
(Image Source: NYPL Digital Gallery)
Man, I wished I could remember my own dreams. Such intense, descriptive, imagery happens in your dreams!
Sounds like an acid flashback. Were you at Woodstock?
I hope you get over it soon and thank you for not using the CAPS LOCK button!
The reason you feel like I'm laughing at your blog, is because I AM! I haven't seen any naked pictures of you on here (yet…but I'm new here). So, geez, relax, would ya. And stop yelling at me…damn, why do I even bother 😉
I remember it as hamburgers, in the library, by the butler.
Margaret, I feel your pain! I've actually thought about poison when I have dreams where my husband did me wrong.
I dream like that and wake up furious at either my mom or my husband. I have some CRAZY dreams.
Don't be mad at me. I wasn't there – honest. UK time difference you know. I was catching some Z's, and probably dreaming of crabs or something. I'm totally innocent.
You're right Babs. In my head, I know you're right, I mean you're on the
other side of the planet fer Chrissakes. And I'm sure after a few hours,
I'll forget all about it.
That was my pimp hat. I love that hat.
Ha! It does sound like a pimp hat, doesn't it. I wonder if I was channeling Huggy Bear when I came up with that.
love it! I was so there
This sounds a lot like the dream I had last night. Maybe our pschyes are trying to get together for dinner. 🙂
Oh, I know that feeling well. That is quite the dream!!
Very good! Funny you should post on a day I was thinking of having our local lobster. Now I have to have it just to see the 'barking goat';-)
This is great. I love this!
For 99% of the world, hearing about other people's dreams is really dull. But that's only because the vast majority of people have really dull dreams. This, on the other hand, is utterly hilarious!
What on earth did you eat or drink before you went to bed! That is a doozie of a dream Margaret!
And Sorry, I'm still laughing. You crack me up.
jj
Ha!! I was just sitting here minding my own business; waiting on my lobster dinner. But the clacking wouldn't stop because you never turned the stove on to cook them!!!!
Hugs
SueAnn
We should really consider eating somewhere else next time…..what do you think? smiles.
I loved paragraph two.
Oh Jaffer of little words 😉
Well, I don't care if you're not talking to me. That was one bad-ass dream and I'm proud I was wearing a hat with a zebra feather, because yeah, I'm on TOP of fashion like that. And goats that bark! How much better can it get?
I don't like lobster, though.
Sorry…?
Really cool picture though.
Oh, this is hilarious Margaret. I'm sorry we ignored you. Please don't be mad. Besides, after having read this I'm likely going to have a nightmare tonight about lobsters clawing at me. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Look, a squirrel!! This is what happens after you drink a Mountain Dew 🙂
This is too funny and once I stop laughing, I will re-TWEET this, but not in caps (don't want to make you madder). Thanks for the laugh.
Hey, thanks so much for the retweet! I appreciate that!
The doctor TOLD you to stop that stuff… but would you listen? nooooOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wow, talk about a blast from the past! In some convoluted way you must be related to my mother. She used to have some doozies of dreams. That gene wasn't passed along to me. Can you tell how sorry I am about that? Oh, I am, I am.
Yes, I suspect your mother passed that gene along to me. Wires must have
gotten crossed somewhere.
🙂
Hum… what did yo eat before you went to bed?
That is an intense dream. I had a dream that my husband was having an affair but every time I tried to hit him in the dream I couldn't move my arm. When I woke up I was so pissed I actually did punch him in the arm. He didn't think that was fair…maybe he's right.
Well that depends on whose side you're on. From your perspective, he totally
deserved it. But from his, I guess he didn't really do anything wrong. What
can you do?
🙂
Goats do not bark like dogs.
Harumph!
Nor do we frequent restaurants. I suggest you stop eating strange things before you go to bed.
That doesn't include late night pizza, does it?
All depends; cheese pizza – ok
anchovy, pineapple and sausage pizze – not so much
Fine, be that way!
Perhaps you'll think twice before you try to get between me and my lobster again!!