So there I was, minding my own business on Facebook…wait – no person, human or otherwise, can ever utter such a thing, since the whole reason you are on Facebook is to get into everybody’s else’s business. Anyway, an old college volleyball teammate sends me a message saying she heard our coach had died and was it true and how sad and blah blah blah, like it happened weeks or months ago.
Ack! I can’t believe it. It’s freaking me out, but I’m also skeptical of this news.
My first instinct is to call his house to confirm this, but I can’t just call his house, are you kidding me? Instead, I totally freak out and my adrenaline flies around my body, because I still meet with this guy, my old coach, every so often for lunch and yeah, it has been a while since we talked and yeah, he was diagnosed with ALS several years ago but so far, he’s shown no sign of it and it’s not one of those things that goes from zero to sixty and kills you overnight so WTF?
I go to his Facebook page, even though he hardly ever does anything on there. I see the last thing that happened was that he became friends with his wife. Oh crap, why did he only just recently become friends with his wife? Could it be that he died and his wife got on his account and friended each other so that she could have access and handle any post mortem online issues? And how would you do that anyway? Because everybody thinks you’re the dead guy talking.
The suspense was already starting to kill me (so to speak). I had to hurry and find out the truth because I was beginning to mourn his loss. What if he wasn’t dead? If I already start the mourning process, is that bad for his mojo?
I know! I’ll call his cell phone and see if I can glean any clues from that. He’ll either answer it, or it will be disconnected, maybe. But then if it’s disconnected, maybe he got a new number because his phone got stolen and then I’d be no closer to finding out what happened. Well, I HAD to do something.
I call and get HIS voice on his voice mail. And he sounds just fine on his outgoing message, which is stupid because if you die unexpectedly, of course you’re going to sound fine on your outgoing voice mail message. Unless you’re psychic of course. Oh great, now what? What do I say to a dead guy’s voice mail? “Uhhh, hi, Jack. Long time no talk. Uhhh, so give me a call….if you’re still around.” Am I just leaving a message to dead air (so to speak)? I mean will no one get that message so I’ll be left hanging (so to speak) wondering why no one is returning my call? Well, THAT would be just awkward and embarrassing and about fourteen different kinds of wrong. So I hang up without saying anything.
I Google him to see if there are any obituaries about him and I can’t find a dang thing. Surely if he died, it would have shown up in the paper and therefore the internet, right? RIGHT?
Well, there’s nothing left to do now, but ….call…his…home number. Ugh. Oh, God. What if his wife answers the phone? Do I just play dumb and ask for him? Let her drop the bomb? Is that mean to do? Or is it meaner to say, “Excuse me, but is your husband still alive?” After much rumination, I decide I’ll just feign ignorance and ask for Jack and let us both go through the pain of her breaking the news to me. It seems horrible, because then I’ll have to act surprised, like I didn’t hear about it on Facebook, but I don’t know how else to do this.
I call his home number and on the second ring, Jack, of all people, answers the phone with a healthy hearty “Hello”.
“Hi Jack”, I let out my breath after holding it while it rang. It’s Margaret.”
“Meg! How are you?”
I’m sweating is how I am. My hands were shaking a moment ago is how I am.
“Um, well really good now. Do you realize that rumors about your death have been greatly exaggerated?”
With most people, I wouldn’t have said anything, but this guy is great, let’s things roll off his back, and I wanted to be honest. I told him what had happened, he responded with humor, and I asked him if we could do lunch. Like, soon.
I logged back into Facebook and told the original rumor monger to cease and desist immediately with the spreading of untruths, that Jack was very much alive, and she said that she had heard it from someone who had heard it from someone, which made it sound like an ugly virus that no one had bothered to stop and take a second to inoculate.
So let this be a lesson to you all. If something sounds too good to be tr– oops, wrong lesson. Don’t listen to idle gossip. Well, actually, how would you know something like that is just gossip? I mean, people don’t usually run around accusing people of being dead all the time, do they? I have no idea what lesson you can take away from this, except maybe that if you’re going to have a Facebook account, you might every once in a while in your Facebook status tell everyone: “I’m not dead yet”.
NGIP 2011 Calendar Now on Sale!
NGIP readers contributed each month’s pictures to the 2011 Calendar and now it’s on sale at Zazzle.
Rumors are spread like wild-fire on Facebook. It’s always best to get the real story from whomever it’s about. However, THAT had to be THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE phone call EVER. I was nervous FOR you while reading this!
I’m so glad you called, he answered and you buried those rumors. So to speak.
But if I update my Facebook status to “I’m not dead yet” then everyone will KNOW I’m not dead yet! Then I’ll have to actually respond to all the 3 friend requests I’ve got, not to mention the 2 Farmville requests that I’ve been ignoring for the past 6 months. This could be problematic.
I am relieved, however, that your friend was not really dead yet.
That’s pretty ding dang hilarious. My hubs would not marry me on Facebook. Every time I sent him a request to accept our relationship status, he would deny me and just act like it was the funniest thing in the whole world. Stupid man. I fixed him. Our passwords are the same, so I went in and changed it myself and then changed his profile to, “looking for men”. He keeps wondering why all these guys in Speedos are friend requesting him. I tell him I have no earthly idea. Facebook is so fun.
See now, I was going to say that you’re so awesome I would marry you if I could, because of that whole we see eye-to-eye funny thing going on, but then you told me about sneaking into your husband’s Facebook account so now I’m not so sure. I’m going to have to rethink my marriage proposal.
I do know people who have passed away and their Facebook page has not been taken down. Occasionally I go to their pages where people still send messages of loss and grief at their passing.
The hardest phone call I ever had to make was calling my brother to tell him my husband had been killed. Yep, that was the hardest.
I remember reading about that on your blog, Lanita. I can’t imagine a more tragic phone call to have to make. I wish I could hug you right now. XOXOXO
My sister and her husband bought my old house. (Actually, it’s a new house. The house we are in now is an old house.) Anyway, after she moved in, a neighbor that I didn’t know told her the former owner was a woman who committed suicide there. Me? Uh, no I didn’t.
That’s hysterical. I think. I mean after the initial anger and shock of someone like that spreading vicious lies.
I thought of you two today as I hung out in San Francisco with Fleet Week going on.
We were over there on Saturday. My daughter and her hubby have a condo
right under Coit Tower and we watched the Blue Angels from there. Fun
day.
That is an awful experience! And I am so glad for you that the rumor was false!!
Whew!
Hugs
SueAnn
What a terrible rumor to spread! I”m glad your friend/coach, Jack is alive and well!
I am laughing out loud– I love hoe you tell a story. Glad Jack is A-okay.
Have a great week (I’m on vacation next week and will catch up again when I get back.)
Cheers, jj
Wow, what a story. That is rather scary I must say. Glad all is well with him.
One of the hardest phone calls were made Wednesday night ’round the midnight hour to my children tellin’ them their Grandpaw had passed. I lost my Daddy this week.
God bless and have a super Sunday void of rumors. So happy Jack is still with us.
I’m so sorry, Nezzie, for your loss. 🙁 My heart goes out to you and your family. And I apologize for the poor timing of this post, but I appreciate you commenting and letting me know.
XOXOXO
Still Alive – FYI
Glad to hear it, Timmy. Thanks for the update!
a friend of mine started a rumor(she thought it was true) like that and had to go over to the woman’s home to apologize for telling everyone that she told people that she had passed away..awkward
I can’t imagine. I can understand an honest mistake and things happen and all that. But that would be really awkward, indeed.
What a strange and awkward situation! I don’t think I would have had the guts to make the phone call.
I can’t get into my Facebook account any longer. Have no idea why but Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank goodness I’m free at last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very good lesson. I remember years ago there was an obit in the paper for a guy with the same name as another guy and everyone thought it was the other guy, including my dad. He ran into him one day, and in very New England style, said “Jesus, I thought you were dead!!!”
This would be why pictures in obits would be useful.
What an awful experience, but glad he’s OK. I don’t really like making calls – any calls. I don’t like voice mail and endless menus to actually get a human on the line. E-mail is much better. I don’t get tongue-tied on e-mail.
I hate answering machines too. I ALWAYS get tongue tied and sound like an idiot.
Face book can be so good and oh so very bad!!
Glad your friend is ok!!
I have a friend that lists his relationship as “open” we are all wondering if he really knows exactely what that means:)
I am very glad your friend is still alive. I am very sorry you had to go through that.
Sometimes you have to wonder….
Frankly, that calendar scares me. But for your sake I hope it’s a hit!
You got your own calendar! Awesome. I have one in the works, but who knows when I’ll finish. Maybe 2012, the year it’s all supposed to go to shit. 🙂
Yeah, good news Jack is still kicking. Crazy how something like that even got started. I guess a venomous person could just start that and get a laugh at how far it would go. Except if then it really did happen, they’d be accused of tricking the universe into making it happen, and then would he/she even be allowed to the service? Not.
Yes, I guess if you do design a calendar for 2012, you won’t have to bother with a picture for December, really.
OMG…that’s just wrong.. the rumor repeater is one of those people I love to Hate. I hope you made her feel about 1 inch tall.. Glad the coach is still ticking!!
All of that does suck, but I have a totally unrelated comment. The only other time I’ve seen the name Nipsy was on Mr. Nipsy Russell of Match Game fame. Love the name Nipsy.
That is all. Good day sir or madame.
Nipsy Russell! He of the poems at the end of each show. I never knew him to do anything else but appear on Match Game. Was he ever an actor or anything?