I got up at O-dark-thirty yesterday to be a part of a blogger panel session at News10, setting 3 different alarm clocks because I am that afraid of not being able to wake up any more before 10am.

And then I drink too much coffee because I think I’m too tired to be up at such an hour and I get all spazzy.

So we four panelists sat behind a table and blabbed about blogging. Well, they sat. I vibrated.

I spoke about how to write an engaging blog and when I got to the part about how you should take pictures of everything and take your camera with you everywhere you go, I held up my camera to show them what I meant by everywhere I go, and then I said, “Say Cheese” and took a picture of them.

I don’t know if you can tell with this picture (you can click on it to see a larger view), but they must have actually been saying “cheese”. Man, I hope they didn’t sit there like that the whole time. That’s an awfully eager-looking audience. It would be kind of creepy after about 3 minutes.

I sat next to Dan Elliott, News10’s mid-day newscaster, who blogs on their site as well as their Elk Grove neighborhood section. Dan is gregarious, personable, and an all around nice guy. Totally knows how to work a room. He’s also not one of those guys who looks 10 years younger than he is.

He looks about 20 years younger than he is.

He claims it’s good genes and HD make-up. I think there’s something fishy going on that has to do with alien technology.

Kimberly Morales of Poor Girl Eats Well was also there to discuss the financial aspects of blogging. Of course once she makes her first million, she might have to change the name of her blog.

Rounding out the panel was Michelle Ponto, also of News10 and who has her own blog called Going Solo, to discuss social media and branding.

Did I mention they had coffee? And muffins from Whole Foods?

And that they let me bring in my book to promote?

And that people came up to me afterwards to actually buy the book?

Here’s a picture of Sarah Cook (of Raising CEO Kids) and me. I met Sarah at that Homeschool Conference a couple of weeks ago and then she appeared at the blogger panel today. Sarah is so nice… I wonder if she’s a serial killer.

The room was noisy with post-panel chatter and suddenly I had to pee. I ran down the hall, but when I returned, everyone was gone. And I mean everyone. I’m talking the whole building. I couldn’t find a soul.

I went to the set. Nothing.

I ran back to the control room. Nobody.

It was just like the first episode of The Walking Dead when the cop wakes up in the hospital and everyone has disappeared, only I didn’t see any zombies or dead bodies strewn everywhere.

And then the clock struck noon. Which was weird because five minutes ago, it had only been 9am. If it was noon already then that meant… oh my gosh they had a show to do! I had to act fast. They couldn’t go on with a bunch of dead air. I had to save the show. I ran down the hall to the set.

I flipped on all the cameras and jumped behind the desk and delivered the news single-handedly.

This is me pretending to banter with my co-anchor when really there was NO ONE THERE AT ALL SITTING NEXT TO ME.

Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, how did you read the news with no one rolling the teleprompter thingie for you?”

That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked me that.

In today’s world of forcing current employed people to pull double-duty, newscasters now control the teleprompter thingies themselves with a contraption known as a teleprompter gas pedal device. Here, I’ll show you:

Suddenly it was time to do the weather. I jumped out of my chair and ran over to the weather station and did the forecast.

Oh sure, I’m smiling, but all the while, I’m developing a cunning plan to rescue all the News10 people from the mass alien abduction that seemed to have taken place.

It was time to dance in front of the weather map, so I jumped over to that and forecasted a very hot day.

And now you’re probably asking why my outfit on set is different than when I started this post and I’m glad you’re such keen observers, but if you knew anything about TV, you’d know I could never wear my previous outfit, what with the green screen and all.

So, anyway, I managed to pull off a whole news show by myself and no one in Sacramento was the wiser.

And then just as suddenly as they disappeared, everyone at News10 re-appeared. They acted like nothing happened.

And they all looked 20 years younger. I’m telling you there’s something fishy going on over there and I intend to get to the bottom of it. ‘Cause I could use another 20 years myself.

…
P.S. For a more accurate story of what really happened, you can read Lisa’s story over on the News10 site. But I like mine better.

Also, thank you to Amy Jacobson Kurokawa, Producer for News10’s My Neighborhood, who moderated the panel. Thanks, Amy!