Look, I don’t have a whole lot of time to chat. I’m in Mexico this week and it would be silly of me to just sit around my room talking to you people all day. It’s bad enough I’ve been extorted into a whole week’s internet charges in my room so I can feel “connected”. And that’s on top of all the “add-ons” AT&T has jabbed me with just so I could call my husband and let him know I got to Cancun in one piece.
That’s right. I’m in Cancun. Sort of. It’s actually some isolated big ass resort somewhere between Cancun and Playa Del Carmen, if you know your Quintana Roo geography. I’ve never stayed at any place so crazy big. Or so Fascist. First of all, when you check in, they put a bracelet on you that I assume has some GPS device so they can track your movements. And you must never take it off.
It’s tolerable while on the resort property, but if you try to leave and venture out into other neighboring towns, your little GPS device sets off some alarm, screaming “TOURIST! TOURIST!” which alerts all the vendors within a 50-foot radius who swoop down on you like vultures as you walk down the street. It’s kind of like doing The Wave at a football game, only in Spanish.
Now, I don’t want to brag or anything, but the balcony on our room has a pool.
Actually it’s more like a really cold jacuzzi.
At the other extreme is one of the pools at our resort I like to call … Lake Michigan.
So, I’ve gotta run and do Mexico, and I promise I’ll send you guys postcards, but I wanted to let you know I got here all safe and sound and so far, unkidnapped.
By the way, have you entered my goat giveaway yet? Oxfam will give a goat to a family in need in YOUR name and I’m hosting it. Please enter this giveaway. It’s for a good cause and it comes from the very fashionable Oxfam Collection.
Some "Best Of Sacramento" articles I wrote for CBS
