Ever notice how the only times this world seems to be going to Hell in a hand basket is when we’re breathing?
So I’ve decided to go halfway and stop exhaling, just to see how it goes.
But that’s not really why I called you here (although I do plan to start an awareness campaign about that breathing thing soon so keep your eyes peeled).
No, I would like to let you know that as part of my world domination plan (in addition to asking you to vote for me as MVB on CBS Local) is call your attention to Page 34 of this month’s issue of Sacramento Magazine.
This article, written by Corinne Litchfield, is accompanied by a photo from one of those Tweetups you have all been hearing about. And if my producer, Morty, will show you the close-up, you’ll no doubt recognize one of your favorite bloggers.
That’s right! That’s me. Underneath the arrow. And they captured my best side. From the back of my head to the back of my toes.
You totally recognize me, right? And so will the rest of the world.
This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is the photo that is going to make me. I’m telling you, after this picture gets around, people are going to be knocking down my doors, little Tootsie Pop-sucking children will stop and stare when they recognize me at the monkey cages.
I’ll be able to quit my daytime stripper job. Also at the monkey cages.
The paparazzi will trail after me, heavily laden with their cameras bouncing off their bodies. They’ll call out my name so they, too, can capture the back of my head. The money shot. They’ll ask for my reaction to the latest hate-post about me from some bitter rival.
Cops will pull me over just so they can let me off without a cow-tipping and/or speeding ticket.
I’ll be the buzz of the bus station. Where I also “make a living”.
I’m going to be somebody, is what I’m saying.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have go sit by the phone.
***
(Image Source: Sacramento Magazine. Photo by Diana Miller)
Congratulations. I know I am late to this party but just had to say you look fabulous!
The Kardashians have nothing on you!…I would like to have an 8×10 autographed picture
please!
Neither does J Lo, if you get my meaning. 🙂
This post ended up even funnier than I thought it would be. But that’s to be expected when it comes to your writing. Thanks for the link to my site – it is most appreciated!
You are most welcome, dear! And thank you so much for telling me about it. I might never have known otherwise. I got a blog post out of it because of you!!
This post ended up even funnier than I thought it would be. But that’s to be expected when it comes to your writing. Thanks for the link to my site – it is most appreciated!
World domination and the strip club… I love it when you make me laugh outloud! I picture Dr. Evil… “One MEELION DOLLARSSSS”
You have achieved true stardom. Not eveyone can boast about their famous backside.
Yeah…thats true.
Yep. That’s you alright. I recognized you in an instant. Fame is just around the corner of the bar (love those vodka bottles).  To help speed things along, I voted for your blog on CBS Sacramento’s MVB. Best of luck.
I would have recognized that back side anywhere! Â
Hey, that’s my best side too!
Shoot, and I thought I was famous because the big arrow was pointing at me in my cool hat 🙂 I must be famous by association since I had the privilege of talking to you IRL (in real life for you acronym haters 🙂
Actually, I did think the arrow was pointing more at you, which would have been even funnier to claim potential stardom from, so I figured I had to somehow say which one was me.
(still voting for you every day, Rodney!).
I knew you immediately by, um, the layers in your hair. Like Jennifer Anniston when she had the Rachel haircut, only different. This is The Margaret. 🙂
PS, congrats on your new Fame. Try not to overexpose yourself all at once. Tease the audience a little.Â
I knew you immediately by, um, the layers in your hair. Like Jennifer Anniston when she had the Rachel haircut, only different. This is The Margaret. 🙂
PS, congrats on your new Fame. Try not to overexpose yourself all at once. Tease the audience a little.Â
“The Margaret” is probably a better sounding hair-do than “The Nannygoat”.
Oh man, I was hoping to catch you swinging on the pole BEFORE you went and got all famous with your ass-shot in a magazine! Oh well!Â
Oh, I’m sure after the pending fall from my rise to world domination, I’ll be back at the bowling alley (or wherever I said it was) begging for my stripping job back.
I can’t wait for 1) you to achieve world domination and 2) for the time to come when I can say I knew you when.
Lovely shot of the back of your head. =)
This is my worst nightmare. But only because my ass is 10x as big as yours and so is my head.
But think of it this way — It’s like when you’re really famous, you can have the big “reveal” like on those makeover shows. Look! It’s Nanny Goats and we get to see the front of her after waiting all these years!
Your head is NOT 10x as big as mine. Your hair is, though. 🙂 Because mine is so damn paper thin.
And I don’t see a single goat present in that photo either… what is the matter with those people ???
Once I take over the world and am King, my first order of business is to ensure a goat at every party.
That is the most attractive back of a head I’ve ever seen.
Oh, why thank you! I get compliments on the back of my head all the time. I should really take it on the road.
On behalf of your fans at the Leave It To Beaver club, please don’t quit your daytime stripper job. It seems the boys at the club can’t live without their “Heini McmASSterson”.
On behalf of your fans at the Leave It To Beaver club, please don’t quit your daytime stripper job. It seems the boys at the club can’t live without their “Heini McmASSterson”.
Oh. Em. Jee. Nicky – you kill me and I love you.
That is all.
Oh! And Ell Oh Ell.
Nicky, That might have been the greatest comment ever! Ahahahahahhhahahahaha
On behalf of your fans at the Leave It To Beaver club, please don’t quit your daytime stripper job. It seems the boys at the club can’t live without their “Heini McmASSterson”.
I will not make a comment about your big feature being your ass.
I will not make a comment about your big feature being your ass.
I will not make a comment about your big feature being your ass.
Ooops, did I type that?
LOL!
I can’t tell you how many times I tried to figure out a way to say that exact thing. I decided to just sort of dance around it and sort of imply it.
You know you’re famous when your ass makes it in pictures! So proud of you woman! Since you’re going to be retiring your nipple tassles, can I have them?
But of course! Consider them yours, dear. 🙂