Episode 248: Dancing with Hamsters
Good evening. And welcome to yet another installment of As The World Ends, a multi-part series spanning the eons where we follow the adventures of various protagonists in their preparation for the End of Days.
We last left our heroine, Garibaldina, on May 21, 2011 grappling with the notion of spending her entire fortune on chocolate Hershey’s kisses and her attempt at devouring them all because, well, the world was about to end, so what the hell.
But the world did not end, so her digestive system had plenty of time to revolt on her and cause her great pain.
For weeks.
Also, she had no money left. Because the world did not end. She found herself poor and after all the chocolate was gone, starving.
Luckily, we live in an age where re-inventing yourself is de rigueur, so since she had told her last boss to cram something oblong into a place that would have felt inordinately uncomfortable, and then, oh yeah, the world did not end, she did not try to return, but rather, came up with a new career of her own. A start-up, if you will.
Yes, Garibaldina, decided to make a lot of money as a blogger. She filmed her hamster, Groovy Baby, doing cute and silly things, posted them on her blog each day, monetized it and began raking in the dough. She spoke at blog conferences as a niche hamster blog expert, self-published a book, “How To Blog about Your Hamster, Groovy Baby, and Rake in the Dough” and despite its lack of editing, sold millions of copies.
Garibaldina invented her own version of the Groovy Baby Hamster dance which went viral and is taking over wedding receptions all over the world. Bollywood directors are knocking down her door now for the rights to develop a musical based on Groovy Baby.
But once again, here she is at a cross roads. The world is about to end on October 21, 2011 and Garibaldina must make the decision whether to chuck it all in some hedonistic live-for-the-moment have-sex-with-everyone-in-your-vicinity spree again, or save her hardly hard-earned money and wait it out.
And even though her hero, the self-proclaimed End of Days prophet Harold Camping, was wrong all those other times about the end of the world, what if, WHAT IF, he’s right this one time? After all, he says that this date is “probably” the one. That sounds more realistic, right?
OMG - What should Garibaldina do?












