Negative Spammers? Yes, Please!

As a world famous blogger, I am subject to millions of comments. It’s either millions or tens, I forget which. Anyway, most are good, and three have been bad.

And then there is the spam.

Mostly, my spam comments are very positive and flattering. Comments such as:

Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve keep in mind your stuff previous to and you’re simply too great. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is actually a tremendous website.

and…

Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this website on a regular basis, this web site is truly good and the viewers are actually sharing fastidious thoughts.

and…

I am in fact thankful to the owner of this web page who has shared this fantastic paragraph at at this time.

 

Some of you might think I am being presumptuous and a grammar snob to think that comments such as these are spam and not merely an attempt to comment on a blog that they do find very tremendous and they can’t help it if English is not their first language.

I would agree with you, except that you don’t know what you’re talking about, my little benefit-of-the-doubt giver.

Because these comments have extremely commercial sounding email addresses like reversemortgages.net@gmail.com and cheapinsurance@gmail.com and usmintedcoins@gmail.com.

Also? The URL they leave behind like a lone turd is also a suspiciously low class sounding website. So no, they are not sincere comments, but an attempt to get a back link from my blog in order to raise their Google page rank.

Also? These comments are not appearing on Nanny Goats in Panties, but on my test blog. A blog that has virtually no information whatsoever, let alone “fastidious” comments by its “viewers”. The handful of posts I do have on it are nonsensical poppycock. The website looks like crap, and it is far from tremendous. It’s called Sacramento Puzzle Swap and it’s a piece of garbage whose sole purpose is for me to test out WordPress themes and plug-ins before I implement them on my real blog on the internets.

Anyway, these flattering spammers may be starting to adopt new tactics, as I recently received my first negative spam comment:

The text reads:

The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to read, however I actually thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could possibly fix in the event you werent too busy searching for attention.

I love this comment! It’s irrelevant yet provocative-much like the vitriolic blowhards we see from those talking heads on cable “news” shows.

Yeah, this one takes commenting to a whole new level. While typically vague, it still manages to pack a punch and attack me personally. How awesome is that?

Also? He keeps it clean. No porn or offensive language anywhere to be found - well done, Jacktard! Can I call you Jacktard? You seem like a Jacktard.

I hope this is a new trend. I’d prefer to be entertained by spam than simply annoyed. So, bring it on, I say.

Care to share any fastidious thoughts?