How I Stole The Emmy from the Leading Competition

Saturday night I did the John Edwards thing and Twittered from the Emmys to keep all the NGIP fans up to date on the latest celebrity sighting, LIVE, as it was happening. I Twittered every 60 seconds, I couldn't keep up with it all. Eventually I gave up from finger cramps after about two minutes, but BOY! Were you instantly informed there for a while.

First of all, I was wrong about the lack of paparazzi, the place was lousy with 'em.

This is Erin, the co-executive producer for TNGIPVRH  (The Nanny Goats In Panties Virtual Reality Hour) on the red carpet. Poor Erin, none of the paparazzi wanted to take a picture of her, so I kindly offered to shout "Erin! Over here, Erin! Who are you wearing?" and snapped a photo:

Does anybody recognize the two little elfin mop tops in the back? Because for some reason the papas were all over them.

I did manage to walk past Sharon Gless on the red carpet. At least I recognized ONE person. Sheesh! Unfortunately, when I tried to take a picture of her, a couple of her body guards manhandled me like Sean Penn. (Which I suppose for some women, wouldn't be a bad thing)

Rumor had it that it was going to be a a long ceremony. This photo was taken just before entering the theatre and some people came prepared.

This is the inside of the new Nokia Theatre where the Rat's Ass Emmys were held (and will be held next week for the real Prime Time Emmys:

After the ceremony, we were led to the Convention Center next door for the Governor's Ball, where each guest was greeted with a box of big ass chocolate candy bars in their chair (and the first course of shrimp salad, which of course led me to wonder....'How long has that shrimp been sitting there on that room-temperature table?'

Then the main course where there was more shrimp, some meat thing with mushrooms and asparagus and fried Mac-n-Cheese. Mmmmmm....mac-n-cheese - that's what I'm talkin' about. None o' this fancy schmancy basil-brushed tenderloin in a wine reduction sauce topped with a smashed red thingy:

And for dessert, "diamonds" of something:

The band and diamond encrusted, Emmy-themed ballroom:

Some woman complimented me on my dress. It was all I could do not to tell her who I was wearing (Dress Barn $39.99). See? People just assume; you're at a swanky ball, so it must be some hideously expensive designer get-up.

And that was pretty much it....

Oh yeah! You're probably wondering if I won an Emmy for The Nanny Goats In Panties Virtual Reality Hour.

Does this answer your question?

No? Well what if I tell you that that's me in the picture, then does it answer your question?