I can't begin to tell you how proud I am, however, that people around the globe have come to my blog while searching for the following terms in the last month:
- buddha sex with skulls
- pissing contest
- all you can eat panties
- son of a gun from nannygoatin'
- there once was a man with a bucket
- a mean old nanny goat doesn't change into a dove because a little time has past
and my favorite - drumroll please.....
7. you want me to be your garden gnome. you want me to be your plastic flamingo. you are not my mother and i want to go home.
But that's not why I called you people here today. I got off on a tangent there right out of the gate and the real reason I wanted to speak to you is to tell you that I drove past my neighbor's house today and saw this near his door:
A Christmas wreath? Ack!
I considered going over there, knocking on his door and laughing boisterously in his face, pointing at him while I held my belly and laughed and laughed, mercilessly mocking him as I wiped tears from my eyes, struggling to get the words out about his wreath. Except that when I walked into my house, I saw THIS in my living room:
I would try to further defend myself by declaring something like, "Oh yeah? Well at least there's only two ornaments on the tree and the blanket underneath is gone!"
Except that the tree never got past two ornaments at its peak decoration. And I never found the blanket.
The good news is, we'll be having a Valentine's Day Tree this year.
What? I don't have time to take it down right now. I'm busy packing for a trip to Tucson. Speaking of which, you guys need anything while I'm there?
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