We were in this restaurant but it was really your living room, except there were a bunch of other tables covered with red and white checkered tablecloths and strangers bent over huge bowls of soup with whole lobsters sticking out and clicking their claws. And you were reading my blog just like you are now, but it was projected on the wall and you scrolled through it with a brass hand crank attached to our table, like it was a normal thing to do. And you were wearing a red top hat with a zebra-like feather sticking out the side.
And this goat came up and barked like a dog and you started laughing and I started laughing and then I stopped laughing because I realized it wasn’t supposed to be funny but you wouldn’t stop laughing and it started pissing me off and I said “What the matter with you?” only I had to yell over the loud syncopated clacking of the lobster claws and you wouldn’t look at me, you kept looking at the wall and reading my blog like you are now and I couldn’t get your attention and everyone else was looking at the wall and pointing and laughing at my blog and I couldn’t focus on it, but I knew there was some humiliating picture on it that I accidentally uploaded and clicked on SUBMIT before I realized what happened, like a naked picture of me running to class because I was going to miss my final exam and flunk out of college.
And then I woke up this morning all mad at you and wanted to just smack you as soon as you got here, and tweet in ALL CAPS at you, but I held back because it was just a dream, but it felt so real, and now every time I look at you, I’m still pissed because why the hell were you laughing at me and not listening to me, so until that feeling goes away I just can’t talk to you right now.
(Image Source: NYPL Digital Gallery)
