Have you ever had one those little things on your face? You know, those long sticky grayish turquoise things that just sort of dangle around for days and nobody says anything until one day the cat starts batting at it while you’re trying to watch Real Housewives of Deliverance and the next thing you know, [...]
Posts under ‘Uncategorized’
Tug at my Heart Strings, Don’t Yank Them Out of My Chest
Melodrama will get you nowhere with me. Just ask my pink guppy, Millicent, who straps herself to the undersea railroad tracks in her tank on a daily basis, screaming about how she can’t pay the rent while Thrashfield, my algae eater hovers over her twisting his moustache, screaming how she must pay the rent. Never [...]
I Had a Dream About You Last Night
We were in this restaurant but it was really your living room, except there were a bunch of other tables covered with red and white checkered tablecloths and strangers bent over huge bowls of soup with whole lobsters sticking out and clicking their claws. And you were reading my blog just like you are now, [...]
Counting Crows (and Dead Celebrities)
What does a single crow on your roof mean? Also, I’m a guest advice columnist at the Mouthy Housewives this week. Also, the winner of the Rachael Ray Cookware Giveaway is announced.
Test Post
This is a test of the Emergency Blogcasting System. This is only a test. NGIP has a new domain host and blogging platform and wants to make sure that this post goes through OK before delivering precious literary gold only to have it go out to blogging purgatory. And now, a picture of a safety [...]
Goat Thing of the Day: Goat Beer
Still hungover from the New Years festivities? Well, you know what they say is the best thing for that? Why, more alcohol, of course! How about some goat beer! Cat Lady Larew (of How to be a Cat Lady Without the Cats) picked this up for her son for his birthday. Tami (twinbush) showed me [...]
Germaphobes Unite: You Can’t Lick Just Any Floor
Look, I realize that maybe I’m the quirky one here, but when the hubs and I closed down a Chinese Restaurant in L.A., and they put the chairs up for the night, they put said chairs up like this: Tables covered in chair feet. What the…? Hey! Call me germaphobic, but isn’t that unsanitary? Aren’t [...]
Goat Thing of the Day: The Men Who Stare at Goats
A new movie comes out November 6th starring George Clooney (also Kevin Spacey, Ewan MacGregor and Jeff Bridges) called The Men Who Stare at Goats. It is based on a 2005 nonfiction book by UK journalist Jon Ronson. From the book’s dustjacket: “In 1979 a secret unit was established by the most gifted minds within [...]
Who Wants To Spoon?
You know those self-serve yogurt places like Big Spoon Yogurt? Those places that look like this? …where you grab your own size cup, be it Piggy, Extra Piggy, or the Super Oinker. Then you pick a flavor of yogurt and yank down the dispenser that poops out chocolate or vanilla and because you are [...]
The Doctor Will See You…NOW!
If you fall down the stairs on a Sunday and snap your hootenanny, do you go to the hospital emergency room right away, or do you wait until Monday morning to call your doctor, thinking that if you can get a same day appointment, at least you won’t have to sit in the ER waiting [...]
