I’m a New York Party Crasher. And a Supermodel.

Why are they shaving their legs? They ain't even barely hairy. In fact, they look like they were expertly waxed and moisturized! I call shennanigans.

Oooh, since I am a famous model myself I can give you some tips:

1. Don't poop while having your photo taken. This really disrupts the mood. And the air.
2. Show your good stomach - although since you only have one this might not be a good tip for you.
3. Make sure your fur is nice and shiny.

There! I hope I have helped you with your lucrative career. You can send me my 10% in apples. That first tip is really worth it.

I am satisfied.

For one thing, I don't know who Gavin McGraw is, so you could've posted a photo of Vasco de Gama, and I would've been impressed.

Second, those models are FREAKS! Look at the color of the middle one! I mean, unless she's black, and then I apologize. But otherwise? No one should be that color.

You look gorgeous. I love the way you're selling that purse.

You make a lively stick. Is that your INDEX finger on your chin in the last photo….I wasn't sure!

Wow. They look like mannequins. And you, lovely Margaret, look like their agent!

I could have sworn you were flipping us the bird when you took that picture with the sticks! Thanks for letting me crash the party with you. Oh and do you know if that Hallal (sp?) cart will deliver to St. Louis? Man that stuff was good!

I wish we had photos of us passing the guys with clipboards.

I actually saw one of those sticks at another party the next night. Her hair was exactly the same and she was wearing a short skirt. You decipher the meaning of that…..

You forgot to shave, didn't you?

Oh Margaret! You rock getting on stage with those Stick Chicks! I would never stand so close to people with legs that long!

I remain completely unsatisfied. And unimpressed. But that's just the jealousy talking.

Sounds like a helluva good time, you party animal.

Ok, I have no idea who Gavin DeGraw is, but I'm Canadian and still dealing with post-traumatic Celine disorder.

I think you ROCK for crashing a party you were invited to.

Now about your multi-million dollar redundant lucrative more than $10 000 contract - you know you're going to put poor Gisele Bundchen out of a job, don't you? Have a heart Margaret, the girl really can't afford to miss a meal!

I know! Babies don't have hair, right?

Awwwwwsome!!!!!! I love that first tip!

First, who is Vasco De Gama? Is she a parfumist?
Second, Good Lord, I hadn't thought of that. But maybe it's because she is black. Or leans that way, anyway. Oh God, is that a racist thing to say?
Third, I didn't realize I was selling it, but that just shows what a natural I am.

That's so funny you said that because I was just looking at it and thinking, Hey that looks like my middle finger, because it looks so freakishly long for an index finger. I'm like Arsenio Hall with that finger.

I think they were mannequins, actually. Because some guy came up to pose them in the two different pictures. And they never really said anything. Hmmm…..

I'm just now realizing that it does indeed look like my middle finger. Somebody else said that too. I made a reference to Arsenio Hall in the other person's comment.

What???? Seriously? Was she shaving her legs there too? Cuz shaving two days in a row, that gives you razor burn, doesn't it?

You mean because I'm not showing my miles and miles of legs? Yes.

It was insane, those girls. But I have to admit, they were very nice and accomodating.

Ha! Nothing to be jealous of. That first picture is an untouched photo. Gavin DeGraw really does have a blurry face. And you want to date that, I don't think.

Yep, that's me. All of in bed by 11pm.

Thank you for acknowledging my biggest goal of the evening which was not getting a picture with stick figures or celebrities, but rebelling without a cause.

Vasco da Gama was a 16th-century explorer. I only know this because I just finished editing a book about him. So it's only natural I would assume it was him pictured on your blog.

I felt a little racist with my comment, so maybe we've canceled each other out.

Still! You're much braver than I'll ever be!

I was SO GLAD to finally meet you, because Imma gonna be honest, I thought you were a mythical creature. Like Santa. Or Tupac.

And, I am so glad you bonded with the models, because as part of my contract, I ONLY throw parties that have bouffant haired, half naked models with razor fetishes. But, I mean, Don't we ALL!?

OK, actually I knew Vasco De gama was an explorer, but that's all I knew. I don't know a whole BOOK's worth of info about the guy like SOME people.

I *bow* to you my fearless stick figure leader.

No, YOU”RE Santa (or Tupac). Seeing you in real life was like Publisher's Clearing House knocking on my door. I can't believe it really happened! Awesome party, Chica!

Oh, why thank you for that. Because I couldn't get the stick figures to bow. They said something about being afraid they'd snap. Whatever.

You look as good as those models AND you eat sandwiches. This makes you far better than they are.

Thank you, Momo! Remind me to smother you with kisses the next time I see you.

See, if I were that close to Gavin, I would have had to give him a big, sloppy, wet kiss-whether he wanted it or not.

And you know what that picture with the models reminds me of? the intro to Top Model where they're all pictured and one by one, they get erased out of the picture. You're the non erasable one. For real.

Man those chicks are like Amazon women! I wish I had legs that long. Or legs that looked like that would be nice.

thanks for the nice pics of the sticks.

So you are a big time blogger to be going to conventions and all. I do like the way you handle the money issue.

Seems to me that girl is wearing too much blue eyeshadow, but it could just be that I'm out of the loop. Is that a “thing” now? Is it a trend starting in NY? If I start smearing florescent eye makeup on half my face will I be ahead of the game?

Also, just curious: Do you ever try to break into your house even though the keys are in your pocket? Jump start your own car? Steal your own silverware?

Aw shucks, girlie. You so nice and evraythang! I could just eat you up!

I'll bet Gavin got a few sloppy ones with all that estrogen flying around the room. The only men in the joint were either singing or serving. Oh yeah.

They WERE like Amazon women. Tall skinny smiley Amazon women. With extremely smooth legs.

You are most welcome, lisleman. We are an All-Gender blog here at NGIP. And don't tell anybody else, but you don't have to be a big time blogger to go to blog conferences.

You know, you're right. It does kind of go all the way up her face, doesn't it. And if New York does it, I guess that automatically means it's fashionable, because who would question it? (except us, I mean).

Also? I like where you ran with the theme there at the end. Nice.

You wild woman, you! If crashing the party hadn't worked, you could have always bribed the bouncers with those NGIP pens?

After reading the book, I prefer to think of da Gama as a female parfumist.

I wish I was a woman.

What?

Margaret, you make those gals look like female impersonators! What a fun post!

Oh honey those lollipop girls wouldn't last a day down here on the Ponderosa but you, looky at you. Your just a darn cute little party crasher!!!

Ya'll have a terrifically blessed week! )

Who taught you to take photos? Sheesh…you're a blogger…get some lessons! We need clear photos and … blah, blah…the stick girls were cool…seriously, though…why were they shaving their legs? I agree with Tracy!

Good God those girls have long legs! Geeez!

Sticks, yes… but OH would I love to have those legs!

Yes! It's why I always make sure I have one or two on me at all times. Just so I can be sure to get that table by the window.

They do have a little bit of that Priscilla, Queen of the Desert thing going on, don't they?

Because they were promoting Shick, the party sponsor, I'm assuming. Of course, if they were promoting vibrators, that would make for an interesting picture and probably not one I would be able post on my blog. I could give it to Moooog.

I know! How fun (and completely shallow) would THAT be?

Yup! And you do not, thank goodness!

These slick Schick stick chics look sick - if you ask me (it's good job there weren't six of them - it would have taken me ages to say it.).
You my dear look fabulous. As a further act of rebellion in this temple to smooth limbs you should have revealed a pair of hairy armpits - that would have scared 'em all. (What do you mean, it's just me?)

You….are a genius. Why didn't I think of that?

You are just too stinkin’ funny!! Plus I think you are WAY MORE prettier than those stick ladies. Sheesh…