I am lyrically challenged. You know, as in I don’t know the lyrics to songs. Even if you hum a few bars I can’t fake it. Also? I can’t name that tune in forty-three notes, let alone seven. Why is that? And am I alone in this?
In the late 1970s and early 1980s, my teenage ears were assaulted with ear candy aka disco. Lines like “Let’s whip it, baby. Let’s whip it right”, lacked a certain….depth. And songs with substance didn’t stand a chance with me. We didn’t have thousands of songs on iPods. All I had was the radio, so I couldn’t rewind a song a bunch of times until I finally figured out that Mick Jagger wasn’t singing , “I’ll never leave… your pizza burnin’.”
Today, I will start listening to a song with an attempt to comprehend its meaning, but something happens somewhere between ten and thirty seconds into the song. I miss a word and stop understanding what they’re talking about or I just forget to listen and the next thing you know, I’m catching myself thinking about what I need to get at the pet store for my ostrich, Sheila.
JD at I Do Things posts song lyrics at the beginning of all her posts and most of the time, no, pretty much all of the time, I have no idea which song they come from (unless it’s “Whip it, Baby”)
In this arena called musical prowess, I am shamed by my husband, Mr. MudPuppy, who could kick anybody’s ass in Rock & Roll Jeopardy because he knows EVERYTHING about music. He lives, eats, breathes, sheds and poops it. He can sit on the couch and just listen to music. Or watch the same concert DVD over and over.
I know! Who does that? I can’t even watch the same movie more than once.
I’ll come into the room and see Geddy Lee from Rush again or that dude from Iron Maiden telling the same story from that seat on their tour bus in that same documentary from a month ago, and I’ll say, “Haven’t you already seen this?” And you know what he says?
“Yeah?”
Like there’s an implied “What of it?” at the end. Like there’s nothing wrong with watching Megadeth’s Behind-The-Scenes thing, or that Steve Vai performance repeatedly. As if he GETS something out of it every time. Pffft!
So anyway, for him, music can be a primary activity. Like I said, he can just sit there and listen to it. That bores me to tears. I have to be DOING something else and music is allowed to play in the background while I’m busy doing that something else. Of course, if my mind is on that something else, I’m not really “listening” to the music, which of course prevents me from ever learning what a song is about.
And we listen to different music anyway, Mr MudPuppy and I. While he enjoys all sorts of music, he leans toward 80s Heavy Metal most of the time, while I’m more of a Scissor Sisters / Mika type of person. Frankly, I don’t know what he sees in me. Although we do both like Butch Walker. So there’s that.
I blame my mother. And my father. They were both cultural dodo birds when it came to music. I’m talking bottom-of-the-barrel tragically unhip. You grow up listening to what your parents listen to and that’s your musical library getting informed and molded for the rest of your life.
Most of you were lucky enough to hear original artists. You know what I spent my childhood getting exposed to? Homogenized cover tunes. That’s right - Muzak on a Stick. I grew up in an elevator, my friends. Does anybody in Sacramento remember KEWT? Some people called it “Easy Listening”. I called it crap. Well, now I do. I didn’t know any better back then that my musical taste was being forcibly extracted from me at such an early age.
Yes, KEWT. The home of pure unadulterated instrumental music, where songs were either stripped of their lyrics and dignity, or worse, sung by Lawrence Welk-like studio singers.
Enter Ray Conniff. My mother had an 8-track suitcase full of Ray Conniff albums in the car, so that’s what we listened to. All the time. So I do know all the words to those songs, but at seven years old they never meant anything to me.
Lyrics like:
♫♪Who’s in the Strawberry Patch with Sally,
Who’s making love to her tonight? ♫♪
and
♫♪Happiness Is, Happiness Is, Happiness Is, Happiness is
Happiness Is, Happiness Is….different things for diff-er-rent people…that’s what happiness is. ♫♪
and
♫♪Photograph, photograph, photograph, photograph,
Photograph, photograph, photograph, photograph ♫♪
No I’m not kidding. Wait, here’s another one…
♫♪Leave me alone, won’t you leave me alone,
Please leave me alone, now leave me alone.
Leave me alone, please leave me alone, yes leave me. ♫♪
So while I may have these frickin’ songs memorized, even to this day, I don’t know what any of the songs are about. Except the one where they sing “Photograph” over and over about 63 bazillion times. I think that one is about a photograph.
If I had to recall four specific 8-tracks that I spent an inordinate amount of time being exposed to it would be these:
Ray Conniff - The Way We Were (which includes all of the songs whose lyrics I sang for you above)
Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass - The Sexy Whipped Cream Album Inappropriate for 7-year-olds
Soundtrack from The Sound of Music (My mom had a “thing” for Christopher Plummer)
Soundtrack from Fiddler on the Roof (My mom had a “thing” for Tevya/Topol)
Now you might be saying, “Well, that’s not so bad. Those last three are pretty good.” And that would be true if it stopped there, but there was only one album of the last three listed above, whereas the rest of the suitcase contained 147 Ray Conniff 8-tracks.
Why couldn’t my parents be cool and listen to The Beatles or Elvis or Frank Sinatra? Something culturally relevant for Pete’s sake? For MY sake. My parents missed out something fierce. And in turn, so did I.
If I were a rich man, I’d yidle-deedle-didle-deedle back to my childhood and buy some real music for my mother for birthdays and Christmas, rather than hearing over and over again that a doe is a deer. A female deer. And then I would grow up listening to music that meant something. Music that didn’t have all the flavor sucked out of it before I had a chance to hear it.
It’s not that I don’t like music. I do. I’m even moved by it at times. I just don’t know the words. And I don’t want to hear music that has been “cleansed” to within an inch of its life.
Once every ten years or so, I do pay attention to the lyrics of a song and this one, called Walk You Home, by Passenger, I fell in love with the first time I heard it. The video for it below is curiously shot, and the song is funny, clever, and a bunch of other adjectives I can’t list without spoiling it.
Just listen to the words.
Link to Walk You Home by Passenger video.
Link to Lyrics for Walk You Home
LOL-am the same as you.
Are the words of the song Blinded by the light really followed by wrapped up like a douche????
I know what you mean. I hear songs back from my childhood now (over and over), and I learned that I have been singing the wrong words for 25 years. So funny!!!!
My ex-husband wondered about Madonna’s song “Like a Persian Touched For The Very First Time”, He asked the kids if Iranians took vows of chastity or something.
I’m with you, Margaret! I like the classics and the musicals, but I don’t know a thing about pop today. And I’m 16…
lol - I can totally related! My mom like to play the piano…I can hum along to “Orange Colored Sky’s” and “Pistol Packin’ Mama.”
The type of music you listened to as a kid is what I refer to as ‘Rainbow Bread’ music. You and my hubby were baked from the same white bread loaf. I was listening to Jethro Tull’s Aqualung. Hey…but there’s not a thing wrong with the Tijuana Brass. It’s cream for your coffee! My favorite current stupid lyric is If You Seek Amy by Brittany. Classy, huh?
Yes, I believe it IS “wrapped up like a douche”. Although I haven’t yet figured out exactly what that means. Do you know?
I have to say, there’s at least one good thing about country music, even if you’re not a fan. As least you can understand what they are singing!
Are goats does too? Good to know.
I know, I know. It’s a stalker song and normally that would creep me out, but there’s something ironic about the whole thing, how he’s bouncing around and it sounds like a happy song, so it’s sort of … funny.
HAHA!!! And then they look at you funny, very briefly, smile, and walk away, then run, right? And here I thought country music was the easiest to understand.
Like a Persian? HAHHA!!!! Good one.
Ha!! You’re STILL 16??? Good Lord, when do you turn into an old man of 17?
Speaking of Megadeth, Dave Mustaine is doing a book signing at the Border’s on Fair Oaks this Wednesday. I find it strange that he would up on my radar twice in the same day. I wonder what it means?
geez-no I don’t and it is a frightening image. lol
Laughing at the Like a Persian comment…..
Goats are cousins to deer.
Happy stalkers. heh
Yeah, me too.
Growing up I listened to whatever was being played on the “top 40″ stations. Daddy was traditional country like Jim Reeves and Patsy Cline. Mom really wasn’t into music, at least not the radio. Probably too tired of hearing my “racket” every waking minute. She preferred piano music like Floyd Cramer. Any of these ring any bells?
I had my share of songs that I misunderstood lyrics, I just can’t get any to come to mind right now. That particular brain cell is tuned out at the moment.
I can relate to soooooo much of this post. You don’t know lyrics and I know only the first two lines of 596 songs. Or the refrain. Only. My parents listened to opera, Johnny Mathis (Chances Are…), Andy Williams (Moon River…) and a few more. I was lucky to have 5 older brothers and sisters so my next-oldest sister got me into The Monkees and The Chipmunks and my older sisters got me into Barbra Streisand and my brothers, well, they led me into perdition: Rolling Stones, Cream, Jefferson Airplane, down-n-out blues, etc. Now…other than Megadeath and the musicals, I don’t recognize any other names in your post. And even with all my musical background handed to me by my family, there was no way I could avoid the disdain from my ex boyfriend who was the freaking founding editor of SPIN. My eyes glazed over as he downloaded minute details of Bob Dillon’s fakeness or Sister Rosetta Tharpe’s amazingness (truly) or Ua’s - Japan’s surreal beauty (also truly). It was a blessing (I learned a lot) and a curse (I ALWAYS failed the test the next day). I also can’t just sit and listen to music. When I do, I think, why don’t I do this more often? And then I don’t do it more often.
My mom was much like yours. I’m pretty sure we had that Herb Alpert album. She also had an Eddy Arnold thing going. But then she also loved watching Bandstand and Soul Train. I don’t remember my father ever listening to music.
But I inherited her eclectic musical gene. My ipod looks like it belongs to someone with multiple personalities. Itunes has free songs every week. I’ll take them. Don’t care what they are. I get the Latin song of the week. Talk about not having a clue what they’re saying. I figure if I could never understand what Mick Jagger was saying in English what difference is listening to another language?
My son likes hip-hop. I like some of it but sometimes when you finally start to understand what they’re saying you find out that your really, really didn’t want to know. Some of that stuff is just…just…oh, hell, it’s crap. Their mothers need to slap them a good one. It’s hard to believe some of the garbage they put out. Here you think you’re listening to this pretty good dance song and it’s really ick.
See? I don’t even know what those songs are. Can you hum a few bars? I’ve probably heard them (because otherwise, you might not have bothered to mention them) and just don’t know them by their titles.
Seek Amy by Brittany? What does that even mean? Is that a lesbian thing? Or is Brittany the singer?
Rainbow bread music. Yeah, that sounds about right.
You listened to Jethro Tull as a kid? Lucky!
That’s right! Mr. MudPuppy already told me about it and said he’s totally going and is going to try and drag me with him. We were trying to figure out if anybody else knew about it and how crowded would Borders be? I guess he’s going to be in town performing. As for why he would show up on your radar twice in the same day, I think it means that YOU’RE supposed to go with Mr. MudPuppy instead of me.
Jim Reeves and Patsy Cline? Totally rings bells. Jim Cramer? Not really. If and when I ever had the chance to listen to radio it was Top 40 as well.
Thank you, my sister in arms. I didn’t have older siblings to help me out in the music department.
The freakin’ founding editor of SPIN!!! Ah-HAHAHAHA. Boy you got it good, then! Yes, I learn some and some of it sticks, which is why I even know the names of these metalheads at all. I used to watch The Monkees on TV. AND the Chipmunks. And I had The Chipmunks album as a kid. One of the few that I had.
Opera. Wow. Heavy stuff.
As for lyrics, yes, I too, know only the refrain of 347 songs as well. Or just the first two lines. Why are we so bad at this?
Hey, you could have had to listen to the Singing Nun. Dominique a-nique-a-nique / s’en allait tout simplement / Routier, pauvre et chantant. Except I only knew the first part, Dominique a-nique-a-nique. The rest, in my head, was: sombla may du sombla mon. Roootay du hmmm hmmm hmmm. My excuse is that it’s french and how can a ten-year-old be expected to know about French nuns singing? Shouldn’t they be working that vow of silence in the nunnery? Sheesh.
Ha! A French Singing Nun sounds awesome. I mean, eventually, when you’re older sharing horror stories, of course.
I have the uncanny ability to listen to a song several times and know the lyrics. I have all the oldies among others romin’ around in my brain and I’m always beltin’ a song out. The wild eyed cows and I love it!!! I heard some discussion somewhere, I can’t remember ’cause my brain is filled with useless lyrics, that when they put the song, “Blinded by the Light” the phrase “wrapped up link a douche” means nothing. Go figure…..
Ya’ll have a marvelous Monday!!!
when i think of 8 tracks, i think of my grandparents’ house. granted, most of the 8 tracks were polka bands, but still…
Well, truth be told, if this is the truth, I heard it’s “Revved up like a deuce” as in a car.
And I can totally see you dancing around the house singing all day long. You’re singing right now, aren’t you?
Well then, Liz, you must be just a smidgeon younger than I.
I never owned an 8-track myself. No I was a 45, an album (now referred to as “vinyl”), and cassette tape girl, myself. I’ve even graduated to the ubiquitous iPod - yay for me! (Oh, my achin’ back!)
All of those albums were in our house. Ahh… Flashbacks. There was a Ray Conniff Christmas album that was my favorite growing up. Somehow no one ever told me that was strange.
Sounds like the way I grew up. My parents could have listened to the Beatles but they chose the Carpenters - they could have grooved to Elvis but they chose stomping to bluegrass, they could have rocked to Queen but they chose to dance to every Rogers and Hammerstein musical ever made. “OKLAHOMA!! Where the wind blah blah blah blah blah blah!!” No wonder you talk to goats in panties.
Mika! Butch Walker!
I swear to gawd, the next lyrics I post will be from “Whip It, Baby,” no matter how irrelevant they may be, for I freaking love that song.
I don’t remember lyrics either!! I thought it was just me being ignorant or simple minded. When music is playing, I am doing something..like driving or walking or making art!! Never just sitting and listening. Just can’t do that!!
So you are not alone!!!! And neither am I!! Go to know!!!
Hugs
SueAnn
My parents brought me up listening to Oldies (You’re my soul and my life’s inspiration) and Bluegrass (Rocky Top you’ll always be, home sweet home to me!).
LOL. But I’m more like your husband. I’ll watch that movie over and over and over. Until I can say it with them. And music is ALWAYS on.
Some poor loons actually produced an album parodying the Herb Alpert Whipped Cream thingy. It featured a lot of fat old ladies…
Oh my…I am pretty sure we may be possibly related because like you I do not know song lyrics hell i dont even know song titles and since I can’t carry a tune it is probably a good thing!
Fortunately for me - my parents DID listen to The Beatles and Elvis and Frank Sinatra. And so do I, and so does my 14 year old son. I love that he knows the lyrics to Led Zeppelin tunes when other kids his age only know Rap music.
However, as far as Musical Trivia is concerned? I am an epic failure!
That’s hysterical!
He was a funny guy! In fact, he was my favorite ex husband.
What? Hey, how many ex-husbands do you have? I don’t have any favorite ex-husbands - should I be jealous?
I can’t remember if we had Ray Conniff Christmas albums but we MUST have. I saw over 100 listed on Amazon (although some are just variants) so I can only imagine we had them. I definitely remember a lot of the 8-tracks being red, so maybe that’s a clue right there.
OMG - you put just the right number of BLAH BLAH BLAHs in that line! I didn’t know Oklahoma! growing up. It’s funny, my mother liked some musicals but a very limited number, so I don’t know if she liked musicals or just followed the ones that included men she had a “thing” for.
hee hee!!!
Wait - you know Mika and Butch Walker????? No way!
Also - I don’t know if you are aware, but Kathleen Lancaster and I are going through an OMG No Way moment right now because of you. It’s all very freaky and I’ll have to tell you about it somewhere.
Probably. I have had my share, and probably yours too.
Yay! So we are two peas in a pod.
Well that sounds… interesting.
Well it sounds like you know your lyrics!
If we are related, then it clearly runs in the family!
Lucky! It’s totally different to discover these people later in life than when it’s a PART of you because you grew up with it.
I can only imagine!
For the longest time I thought Jimi Hendrix was singing “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” which was pretty bold for that era…
You’re lucky. I was raised on Christian music, I looked forward to watching the Sound of Music because the quality of the music improved drastically.
I now need professional counseling due to the tragically unhip music we had to listen to growing up. Um, we have all those albums above. Even worse, we grew up in musical theatre, so I can also dance to that Sound of Music record. My one revenge? We called it the Sound of Mucus. Do you want me to start in on the true meaning of Led Zeppelin’s Lemon Song? And I LOVE Led Zeppelin, but come on. Er, wait. I think that is the whole point. They did come on…Hmm, gotta go put on some makeup in case Robert Plant is on his way over to explain those lyrics to me. Or to squeeze his lemon till the juice runs down his leg.
Who doesn’t have a thing for Christopher Plummer, honestly?
OK, yes, I have a thing for Christopher Plummer too, but I always assumed it was hereditary.
Oh, you just made me remember that I’ve also seen Jesus Christ Superstar a bunch of times and we had THAT soundtrack on 8-track as well. ACK!!!!!!! Great, thanks for that. And since my mother wasn’t much of a religious woman, she must have had a “thing” for someone in that movie as well. Was it King Herod, or (GASP!) the old JC?
I love that you have all those albums above. It truly makes me feel as though I’m not alone.
And the Sound of Mucus???? OMG! You were a much more creative kid than I. I can’t believe that to this day I never heard that before.
And if Robert stops by, tell him I said hello. Not that he would remember me after all these years.
Hey Margaret, Wow! I go on vacation and you get a whole new look! Great job. The blog looks fantastic.
As for music- I am so with you. And how about “Blinded by the Light”???? What were they saying anyway… Revved up like a deuce… Cut loose like a goose…. Wrapped up like a dou-e???? Sheese.
Hope all’s well with you. jj
Great song! smiles….if you like being stalked….
I think it’s all about what your own situation is. I used to dismiss love songs up one side and down the other… “don’t be ridiculous… nobody actually feels like that, do they?” - so there’s a significant chunk of the past four decades or so that I missed out on, and I want them back now!
We used to play Euchre on the regular w/my SIL & BIL and they’d always have the radio playing in the background. They, and my husband, were all Champions at the ‘name that tune’ game. I’m the same as you, in that I need them to give me a 30 note handicap if I have any chance of winning. Which, even with that and all the clues they gave me, I never did.
Stupid game anyway.
I’ve always thought that knowing two lines from every song is enough; you can fake it from there and no one will now the difference.
I know! I feel weird telling people, “Oh you should hear this song, it’s fanTAStic…what’s it about? Oh, you know, some creepy stalker guy, it’s kind of disturbing actually because he totally spies on this girl and watches everything she does, and it even sneaks up on you, the listener, because you think he’s just this guy and….well, but you should see the VIDEO! The video is cool cuz it’s ….backwards…..and there’s no edits…..and stuff. Hey, where are you going?”
I vote for all three, because I never know. Although blinded by the light seems to be the most popular misheard song. At least on this blog. And I can’t remember the last time I heard that song in real life.
OK, you must have had the Firestone Christmas records too? We had an entire collection that was like a “best of” every Lawrence Welk type singer.
Firestone!!! ACK!!!!
Yes, I do seem to recall the Firestone label.
I have to go lay down now.