Add THAT to Your ToDo List and Smoke It

I hate ToDo lists. They may help you organize your life, but what's more depressing than looking at 147 chores that simply remind you of all the stuff you haven't accomplished yet? It's like getting bogged down in massive debt that you don't want to pay because it will take YEARS to climb out of that hole. So why bother?

That's why I've decided to just let the bank repossess my ToDo list.  HA! Let's see them try and unload THAT thing in today's ToDo list market. Plus, for the last six months, I've let the thing go because I just don't care any more. Rather than rewrite a fresh clean list after completing several items, I'll just scribble out "feed wombat" and add "blog about Olympic Gold Medal" and other ToDos until I have to staple pages together into an unwieldy mess.

And...I use a pen. A big fat leaky one.


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NGIP would like to thank Motherhood From the Edge of the Map for adding Nanny Goats In Panties to her blog roll. This gal seamlessly combines The Two Coreys and lobster sex into one post  which somehow manages to demonstrate how happily married she is. Well done!

Hey, while you're here, could you do me a solid and click on this link which will bump me up a bit in the Sacto Top 25 rankings? That's it, just one click, nothing else. Thanks, man.

Wake Up and Smell the Cough

So you're on this horrible blind date. "What was I thinking?" you ask yourself. This guy is a total serial killer. And now he's asking you if you want to go somewhere with him after dinner. You know what that means, don't you? Yep, a long bumpy ride in the trunk with duct tape plastered across your face, totally ruining your lipstick. He coughs and you could swear you see green beasties shooting out of his mouth. They smell sour and evil.

The problem is, all your friends are losers and you can't depend on them for anything. If you had some real friends, you could have asked one of them to call you during dinner so you could pretend to have an emergency and get out of this date and why doesn't the waiter have this man arrested already for leering at me all night?

You excuse yourself to the ladies room for a frantic call to a friend or two, to ask them on extremely short notice (how rude of you, by the way) to call you back in five minutes. One friend doesn't pick up and another is clearly in the middle of something that cannot be interrupted, judging by what sounds like the phone dropping into a swimming pool after fits of giggles.

Now you're really stuck. What are you going to do? You can't spend all night in the bathroom.

Or can you?

This would have been so much simpler if you had just gone to Wakerupper before this monster date. It would have taken you 20 seconds to enter your phone number, time, and any message you wanted to send to yourself like: "Something terrible has happened, you have to leave right now!" At least then, when your dinner with this vampire-wannabe maniac is interrupted by a phone call from Wakerupper, you can easily extricate yourself from the date with a "Oh my God! Oh that's terrible. Which hospital? I'm on my way!" And boom - you're out of there with apologies.

Wakerupper can be used for all sorts of things. Like wake-up calls for when you are traveling and you don't trust that mealy-mouthed woman at the front desk to set a wake-up call because you pissed her off earlier when you asked to have your room changed four times because you could swear you heard voices, or smelled ectoplasm, or whatever. Wakerupper.com is there to accomodate your needs, regardless of what a freak you are.

That's Wakerupper.

If you have a suggestion for a cool or useful website, just click on the suggestion box and tell us about it. We'll be happy to pass on a site that you've more or less discovered (because you think maybe lots of people haven't heard of it yet) and give you credit for it with a link back to your site.

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For a brief time yesterday, Nanny Goats in Panties broke into the Top 10 on Humor-Blogs (not that I'm checking every hour or anything). Click on this link to see where NGIP ranks now. Your click will help vote us up the ranks.

How To Meet That Loud, Annoying, and Embarrassing-To-Be-Around Friend Halfway

Have you ever hurtled through space, dodging asteroids and other interstellar detritus, and wondered when someone was going to find the next inhabitable planet already because dang, it's hotter than Hades in your studio-apartment-sized moon-hopper?

You haven't?

Well, have you ever let a pile of unread magazines grow so tall that you wished an elf would materialize from your toaster oven and draw you a long hot bubble bath?

No?

Have you ever tried to make plans for dinner with a friend whom you don't really like because all they do is talk, talk, talk about their boring life with their boring family in their boring house and you resent having to drive all the way over to their side of town because when they ask, "Where shall we meet?", you can't think of a place before they throw out the perfect little spot on their side of town? Don't you wish someone would create a website where all you have to do is enter your address and their address and voila! - you get a list of restaurants that are halfway between you and your blowhard buddy?

You DO?

Oh.

I wasn't expecting that answer. Uh, just a minute...

[fumble, fumble, fumble,... sounds of pots and pans falling out of frantically searched boxes and crashing to the floor ...]

Here we are! Yes, look no further than mezzoman.com for your "Neither Here Nor There" needs. mezzoman.com is the perfect geographical compromise companion when you need to, say, get together to sign those divorce papers, or find a neutral public location in broad daylight for that internet blind date. Why go all the way when halfway is good enough? Why go clear across town to their House of Pancakes when you can go the halfway House of Pancakes?

Thank you, Amy, for telling Nanny Goats In Panties about mezzoman.com

If you fancy yourself the discoverer of a cool or useful website that everyone in the world isn't talking about already, let Nanny Goats In Panties Know About It. If it passes the Turn Your Head And Cough test (you know, if it isn't just a webpage with a big picture of someone's engorged entrails, but rather a site that maybe sells foldaway away furniture for your tiny shoebox of a shack in space) then feel free to suggest it here, or click on the new suggestion box and tell us about it. Maybe we'll mull it over and pass it on to the rest of the NGIP fans.


And now it's time for ...

* * * Nanny Goats Shout Outs * * *

Nanny Goats is currently climbing in the Humor-Blogs rankings every day, thanks to you guys! When we hit #50 the other day, each NGIP post now appears on the aggregate post feed on the their home page. Kinda like this:



At press time, we are at #38! When we hit #30, the Nanny Goats site and banner are featured on their home page, so keep clicking! You guys are awesome!

NGIP would like to say THANK YOU to two fellow Sacramento Top 25 members for adding Nanny Goats to their blog rolls:

Melly from Cooking Schmooking who for some reason recently found it necessary to buy some halibut cheeks and is requesting recipes for it. If you don't know what halibut cheeks are, she's got a picture. So send your recipe for Halibut Sweet Cheek Surprise to Cooking Schmooking.

...and Lori of Hahn at Home who gives us a humorous, well-written and engaging look at the woes of lesbian dating in her post, Dating For The More Mature Crowd.

Nanny Goats Suggestion Box

If you've discovered a cool and useful website that you want to tell us about and perhaps have us tell the world about, leave a comment here. Or send an email to margaret(at)nannygotasinpanties(dot)com.



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